Tom Hanks’ back-to-back Best Actor Oscars in 1993-94 for Philadelphia and Forrest Gump were just a time killer while he was waiting to be bestowed the greatest gift of all…a career courtesy of John Travolta.  Travolta’s rejection of the lead in the 1999 film The Green Mile was what really opened doors for Hanks.  Not Bosom Buddies, Splash, or Big.  Or two Academy Awards won over half a decade prior to the release of Green Mile.  It was all about John Travolta saying “Thanks, but no thanks.”  Tom Hanks must just wake up every day saying “I owe every success I have to Freddie Mercury John Travolta.”  

Now if America’s favorite Scientologist could just say “no” to hair in a can…

Here’s Revolta’s official arrogance:

“Green Mile I probably should have said yes to… But I gave…Tom Hanks a career!  What you turn down can be a gift to someone else.”

and had to get up to take Tums.  Because I’m basically 97 and have heartburn.  And since I was up, I went online because I have an addictive personality.  There is breaking news…

Barack Obama is nominating Senator Hillary Clinton as his secretary of state on Monday.  It isn’t as great as the dream ticket would have been, but it is still pretty damn exciting.

Reese Witherspoon has been doing press for that horrible movie Four Christmases.  I won’t even watch the trailer on TV because of that puking baby scene.  I have three kids and do not find baby vomit even mildly entertaining.  Also, I think it’s funny that she has not done any appearances or interviews with her co-star Vince Vaughn.  Could it be more obvious that those two hated one another?

Anyway, when asked about Christmas with her own kids, Reese told BBC that her kids like getting screwed over at the holidays.  Let me quote this so I get it right:  “I think kids do best when they only have a couple of things that they really enjoy. I try and stay away from the gluttony of things. They don’t appreciate it as much. When they only get one or two things they really like it.”

Reese, I get it.  You’re really rich and holier-than-thou and you make your kids give 98% of what they receive to charity.  It’s true; privileged kids don’t deserve stuff.  But please, Saint Reese, don’t tell us that they like getting only one or two things.  Because they don’t.  I promise.  Did you ever watch Mommie Dearest?  That’s one of the key scenes:  Christina having to donate all her birthday presents save one doll.  And she grew up to be one pissed off chick.  Prepare for your tell-all in about 22 years.

but Brit was on X Factor tonight.  I know you are probably totally Womanizer-ed out but which night do you think she did the best?  Clip above is tonight, she also performed on Thursday in Germany and Friday in Paris.  Perez says tonight was the worse of the three.  Per my usual, I 100% disagree and think she has improved with each performance.  Thoughts?  Your in-depth analysis is critical.  I think she’s on her way back.

Is it wrong that I have had her documentary on my DVR schedule for the past two weeks?

 

Here’s the deal:  I never liked Uggs.  I didn’t own a pashmina.  Skinny jeans and Ed Hardy tees weren’t ever my thing.  I don’t do Kabbalah and I haven’t had twins.  Even growing up, everyone was wearing neon Champion sweatshirts with matching Reebok high-tops and I was all about the feathers on a roach clip worn in my hair.  They wore Z. Cavariccis, I wore Jordache.  For chrissakes, I was passionately in love with Barry Gibb…in, like, 1987.  And today.  I just don’t fit in…never did.

To further illustrate my social ineptness, I think back to the pioneers of music.  I didn’t love them all but they made a difference.  Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, The Beatles, The Stones.  Who am I forgetting? I’m sure many great artists.  Oh, Duran Duran…total pioneers.  But I watch Miley Cyrus and I just Do.  Not.  Get.  It.  She is the colonic of the pop world…everybody thinks she’s great and I just remain confused as to her purpose.

Here is Miley performing on the U.K. show X Factor Saturday night.

Do you know who Jon Peters is?  Even if you do, here’s a brief thumbnail sketch of this idiot to refresh your memory: He was Barbra Streisand’s hairdresser and then was promoted to her boyfriend.  And then a record producer.  Have you ever noticed how men’s careers flourish after fucking Barbra Streisand?  Well…except for Elliot Gould.  And Don Johnson.  And James Brolin.  Eh…never mind.  Back to Jon Peters and his ascent to assholedom.  His stint in the music biz was the inspiration for the book Hit and Run:  How Jon Peters and Peter Gruber Took Sony For A Ride In Hollywood.  Can you even believe that is an actual book?  For his tenth incarnation, he became a movie producer.  Not just any movie producer.  The one who is known for proclaiming that Superman must never appear in a movie flying or in costume again because it was “too faggy.”  I’m not making this shit up.  In a nutshell, the guy is a total whack.

So, a couple of years ago, he was sued by one of his assistants.  Bitch got upset because he kept offering her money for sex.  And threatened to kill her and her kid if she told. 

Then he fired one of his producers who refused to have his pregnant wife get an abortion.   

For the newest in Jon Peters offensiveness, he is being sued for groping and having others, at his request, grope his male co-producer on the upcoming Superman: Man of Steel.  He also threatened people on the movie set if they didn’t cover up his actions of sexual impropriety in front of children. 

Do we see a pattern here?  Groping, threatening, suing.  If this shit is true, how has he not faced any criminal charges?  I guess because his “I’ll break your fucking legs” threats are effective.  Most inappropriate dude…like…ever.