Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don’t mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We’re gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that’s not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won’t have to pay their taxes either.

Oh and too bad California, I know you were looking forward to the revenue from all of those extra marriages. I guess you will have to find some other way to get out of the budget trouble you are in.

…Really?

When did it become okay to legislate morality? I try to envision someone reading that legislation “eliminates the right” and then clicking yes. What goes through their mind? Was it the frightening commercial where the little girl comes home and says, “Hi mom, we learned about gays in class today” and then the mother gets that awful worried look and the scary music plays? Do they not know anyone who is gay? If they do, can they look them in the face and say “I believe you do not deserve the same rights as me”? Do they think that their children will never encounter a gay person? Do they think they will never have to explain the 20% of us who are gay and living and working side by side with all the citizens of California?

I got news for them, someday your child is going to come home and ask you what a gay person is. Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away.

I know when I grew up gay was a bad word. Homo, lezzie, faggot, dyke. Ignorance and fear ruled the day. There were so many “thems” back then. The blacks, the poor … you know, “them”. Then there was the immigrants. “Them.” Now the them is me.

I tell myself to take a breath, okay take another one, one of the thems made it to the top. Obama has been elected president. This crazy fearful insanity will end soon. This great state and this great country of ours will finally come to the understanding that there is no “them”. We are one. We are united. What you do to someone else you do to yourself. That “judge not, lest ye yourself be judged” are truthful words and not Christian rhetoric.

Today the gay citizenry of this state will pick themselves up and dust themselves off and do what we have been doing for years. We will get back into it. We love this state, we love this country and we are not going to leave it. Even though we could be married in Mass. or Conn, Canada, Holland, Spain and a handful of other countries, this is our home. This is where we work and play and raise our families. We will not rest until we have the full rights of any other citizen. It is that simple, no fearful vote will ever stop us, that is not the American way.

Come to think of it, I should get a federal tax break too…

Melissa Etheridge, in a special piece for the Daily Beast.

56 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I get that she is angry and she has every wright.
    But her taxes theory is complete bulls….

    I’m really sorry for all of those who where effected by this but it has been as democratic as it can be.

  • I thought it was a very beautiful, interesting read. It is funny, being me- being so passionate about this cause…. but it doesn’t even directly affect MY life. I’m straight….. and it breaks my heart so much already. I couldn’t even imagine being in her position… god…. I don’t know.

    and Fred, I think she was being facetious when she was talking about her taxes (although, I’m not going to lie– it totally made me smile. That would be something I would say– well fuck you, if I don’t get all of the same rights, you can’t touch my money! meanies!!)

    sigh

  • I want a tax break!!!

    I enjoyed reading that. I’m not gay, but if I was, I would be hurt, angry and feel like an outcast right now. I would feel frowned upon and small. Those who said yes on prop 8, imagine if your love for your gf/bf/spouse was forbidden (i.e. you couldn’t marry them). Seriously, just for a moment, imagine it. How angry would you be? Or would you just shrug your shoulders and say “oh we’ll, this is the way it should be”? No, you’d be upset. But alas, I am wasting my breath.

  • Dear Fred,
    I hope English is your second language, you illiterate. Go ahead and get married, but *please* don’t pass on your clearly defective intelligence quotient, ok?
    Kind Regards
    The World

  • Here here Melissa, very well done. I know gay school teachers, church members, and doctors. Eventually those children in those commercials WILL meet these people and will hopefully develop more tolerance than their parents have demonstrated.

  • Well said Melissa. I am a gay man in Indiana, and I wanted so much for Prop 8 to not pass. I was hoping that California, which has so much influence on the rest of the country, to help fight discrimation. Beet, I am kind of hoping that Leo might be gay so that you and he would fight even harder for gay rights!

  • Obama is against gay marriage. I guess she missed that debate. By the way, there are examples where morality is legislated. No murdering, with the exception of unborn children. No stealing. We have to give our money to the government to pay for needy. These concepts come from the Bible. For those evolution folks, these laws should offend you as well. It’s all about survival of the fittest. Right?

  • So much WORD, Melissa!

    Me, Dixon: actually, your definition is very personal, not universal. With thanks to Meander at Pajiba:

    “Definitions of Marriage on the Web:

    * the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life (or until divorce); “a long and happy marriage”; “God bless this union”
    * two people who are married to each other; “his second marriage was happier than the first”; “a married couple without love”
    * the act of marrying; the nuptial ceremony; “their marriage was conducted in the chapel”
    * a close and intimate union; “the marriage of music and dance”; “a marriage of ideas”
    http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

    * Marriage or wedlock is an interpersonal relationship (usually intimate and sexual) with governmental, social, or religious recognition. It is often created by a contract or through civil processes. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage

    See? Lots of definitions, with nothing about the sex of the partners.

    Probably because it doesn’t – and shouldn’t – matter a jot. Maybe it does if you are uber- religious, but then, I’m not a fan of any religion or religious person who decides they are the only true judge of other people’s lives and morals. As far as I’m concerned, they should keep their noses out of other people’s personal business.

  • bravo, melissa…every point you made was fantastic.

    and thanks to beet for posting it. it makes me smile to see (portions of) our country opening up and becoming more accepting. and obama will expand those areas, in every facet. after all, you can’t really be open-minded and accepting here, here and here….but NOT here. just doesn’t work that way in life.

  • @Jayne, love the cruelest fucks I have ever met have oddly enough all been religious. Oh and those examples you gave thinking you were being oh so clever, well they were put into place because they were doing harm to OTHERS who the hell does being gay hurt? because as far as i know letting same-sex marriages happen doesn’t equal me getting mugged or stabbed to death

  • WWJD?

    Sit down and eat with them, love them, accept them, but tell them to sin no more (and His word clearly states that the act of homosexuality is a sin)

    Don’t lash out at people who follow Jesus’s example, His real example

    I think abortion is murder, yet our laws allow this atrocity and I pay my fucking taxes, regardless

  • Hey tuffyt: Great, you’ve read the Bible. Maybe now you’ll do a little research into the American government and the whole idea of separation of church and state.

    Great, you believe in what the Bible teaches. But not everyone does, and that’s THEIR right. Not everyone should have to live by YOUR religion–we have this other thing in America called freedom of religion.

    Can someone please give me ONE non-religious reason why homosexuals can’t be married? Seriously, without turning to your Bibles? I mean I get it, your church bans it. So don’t allow it in YOUR church. But what does that have to do with the government?

    And Jayne: murder and stealing affect how other people lead their lives (ie, the victims). Who does gay marriage hurt? Really, besides YOUR definition of morality, it hurts no one.

    Bottom line: Sure, in the Bible, one man + one woman is what constitutes marriage. As far as I’m concerned, the Bible is the basis for the laws of the church. The American Constitution, which is supposed to be FREE from religion, allows EVERYONE equality under the law. The LAW! So your religious reasons mean NOTHING to the rest of us, as they should, since America is supposed to have a SEPARATION of Church and State!

  • The Bible has nothing to do with the government. Let the Bible lead your church in making decisions, keep it out of the legislature.

  • That was awesome, Melissa!

    I bet if you put segregation on the ballot in some parts of this country, it would pass. Does that mean we should allow it, because the people had spoken (or at least a small majority)? No! Keep fighting, California.

    I agree with everything ThatLisa has said about putting civil rights up to a vote. Basic rights are not something people should be able to vote on. We are guaranteed basic rights in our constitution. We should not amend our consitution to make sure some of us (who pay taxes and do all they should as Americans) do not have rights.

    I have not ever heard one good argument for banning gay marriage. What the hell good does it do for society to ban marriage between two people in love? Do you people honestly think your marriage will fail? You are afraid your children may learn about tolerance and acceptance of others??? Really? And do you think by banning gay marriage people will stop being gay? And why do you only care about some of the sins listed in the Bible? Why aren’t you banning wearing mixed fabrics or eating shellfish or whatever? And remember not all Christians feel the same way. I was raised episcopalian, and we have gay bishops in our church. Our priest has performed gay marriages.

    And please, stop defending yourself saying it’s not discrimination if you support certain people not having rights because of sexual preference. You don’t get to do that. You can be against it, but don’t lie and pretend it’s not hurtful. Don’t play dumb about the fact that this ban makes some people second class citizens because of the sexual preference they were born with (which also exists in the animal kingdom), and by supporting it, you also think gays are second class citizens.

  • Why is “Marriage: Man+Woman. Period. No other way.” 100% true.? Seriously? Are you afraid you’ll be “infected” if it’s legal? In most cases, they are *born* that way. And for those of you who want to claim that it’s a lifestyle choice, and always a lifestyle choice, keep in mind that CAT scans of people doing various tests in a study on homosexuality have shown that straight males and lesbians have nearly identical brain activity, and straight women and gay males have nearly identical brain activity. Heterosexual males and females have very different brain activity, and homosexual males and females have very different brain activity. Sorry, but that’s not something that’ll happen as the result of a choice. And even *if* a given gay person is gay by choice, how does that negatively impact *your* lifestyle? Why should you be able to determine what someone else’s lifestyle is? God may be infallible, but that doesn’t mean that the men who recorded or transcribed his word were. Why hate and fear gay people?

  • Reading that almost made me cry because her pain came through so well in her writing.

    GOD = LOVE

    People have no right to speak in God’s behalf, shut the fuck up and quit spewing your hate in God’s name.

  • kb Says:

    November 7th, 2008 at 9:26 am
    I don’t think democracy means that a minority’s rights are decided by the majority vote.

    ————-
    Exactly KB. Nowhere in democracy do they speak about suppression of rights. Rights cannot be voted on; the very meaning of “rights” is just that. I am boycotting every business that supported Prop 8. You can look them up through your local gov. pages.

  • Some of our religious beliefs may say “Marriage = Man + Woman. Period. No other way.” And that is perfectly fine and legitimate to uphold those rules in a religious situation.

    However as a society we have chosen to make marriage more than a religious construct. As soon as you associate civil liberties and legislation with the concept of marriage it becomes a civil construct as well. And it is 100% unconstitutional and un-American to deny anyone civil rights based on gender, race, sexual orientation or religious beliefs.

    Period. No other way.

  • great article. i love melissa etheridge. it’s so true that someday, not too far away, we are going to look back on this and think, what were people thinking voting against gay marriage? until then, we just have to keep fighting for equality, keep talking to people, keep talking about it in the blogs and on the online forums, in the news articles, etc. we can’t stop fighting for equality. ever.

  • Lizzy- Well Said. Very well said.

    Since having pre-marital sex/babies out of wedlock is what the Bible calls a sin, shouldn’t that be against the law too, especially if you’re(tuffyt) saying that the “Bible” trumps any other books? So if you make a baby before you’re married you should have that baby taken from you via abortion.

    Seriously. Let people do what they want to.

  • What a nonsensical argument by Melissa Etheridge about her taxes. She needs to fire up her checkbook and start the process for a proposition to reverse Proposition 8.

    Using her logic, since my kids finally graduated from high school a few years ago, I shouldn’t pay taxes for schools anymore since I don’t use them.

  • Not quite, Chuck. You don’t have the government telling you that you don’t have the rights afforded other citizens. So, while I presume her post was partially hyperbole, your situation differs in that you *did* have children that *did* use the school system and are *not* being denied rights other people have.

  • @wtf chuck

    That’s a good question: “Is marriage a “right”?

    Also, I did “get” the Melissa hyperbole (good word). I was irritated that just because a decision didn’t go Melissa Etheridge’s way she decides to use poor logic to make her point.

  • Marriage isn’t a right protected in the Constitution. As far as I know, anyway. But it is the commonly accepted practice across the world. Our country’s even got laws on the books protecting married couples, better tax rates, rights of survivorship, joint ownership of post marriage acquisitions. Why shouldn’t a committed gay couple have those same rights? If my wife were terminally ill and non-responsive, the hospital would allow me to make decisions on her behalf. If a committed gay couple, together for decades, was in the same situation, since the marriage is not legally recognized, the healthy spouse is not given the same ability – some other relative of the non-responsive member of that relationship would be called in. Why not? Their commitment is no less than mine and my wife’s. The difference is that they’re both the same gender. Why the opposition to it? Who does it hurt? How about a *good* reason to prevent consenting, legal adults from getting a legal marriage if they choose to? Criminals on parole can get married, and they’ve broken our laws. Law abiding citizens can’t? Unfair, illogical, bigoted, and ignorant.

  • Then again, Friday afternoon brain failure is making me wonder if there’s a substantive difference between the two in this case.

    Work weakens the brain!

  • @wtf chuck:

    I’m all for homosexual couples being able to get married. But I wish I was a family law lawyer in California when gay couples can get married in the future (I think it’s just a matter of time), as the court wrangling in divorce cases (who gets custody of the kids, who is deemed “the wife / husband”?) will expand family law and generate big legal fees as these issues get tackled.

    Guess I better try to get ready for the LSAT if I want to be a lawyer in time to go after those cases.

  • Props to her for saying that in a way to get a point across. Does this mean she WONT pay her taxes- NO- she’s just saying, “hey state, I’m doing what i’m supposed to, why are you taking something away from me?”
    Props to all commenters who gave amazing examples of how gay marriage should be a non-issue.
    IF you are doing something that doesn’t HURT anyone. Why should it matter?? If 2 adults consent to be together- let them. And DONT bring religion in, that’s dumb- so many religions are DIFFERENT! I loved the comment- “don’t let them in your church then” very true- if you aren’t *okay* with gay people- then don’t be gay or hang out with any- but how does it hurt YOU in any way if they are in love and want to get married?? How can it not piss you off MORE when an 18 year old marries some old man for only MONEY, when people marry ONLY for a greencard, when people get drunk and marry in vegas- why is all of that ALLOWABLE- but 2 people in love aren’t??
    That’s just ignorant.
    And, I know someone else pointed this out- but there are a *LOT* of things in the Bible that we DONT follow because time has evolved. So, if you’re going to use that as your argument- think of all the other things we shouldn’t be doing…
    and lastly- QUIT JUDGING! Who the hell are you? There shall be only ONE to judge…

  • I love how people say “marriage is between one man and one woman. Period.” As if words and definitions never change.

    Let’s remember that for hundreds of years “marriage” in the Western world meant that the man owned the wife and children. That changed.

    It’s time for another change in thinking. I believe in the next twenty years the majority of Americans will come to think of “marriage” as the legal union of two people. Period. Let’s hope it happens sooner rather than later.

    (I had written “in the next ten years” but changed it to make allowances for all of the people brainwashed by religion into thinking God wants them to discriminate against gay people).

  • I agree with her in most of this shit.. But i’ve been thinking, that i wouldn’t like my kids to learn about it at school.. But not only about gay people, but it’s the same with sex, i mean, i don’t want my 5 year old to learn about sex in kinder garden, that’s for sure.. And i wouldn’t like her learning about gays either.. I love gays, and i am on their side, and i hate the fact that they have to go through so much shit.. But i definately would be suing the school if they tried to teach my 5 year old about sex, or gays..

  • Dude, tho, Tako- the whole teaching kids in school thing was a scare tactic. It wouldn’t happen- it’s protected by California law.

    It’s not like, oh, if gay marriage is legal, we are going to sit down 5 year olds and explain to them what sex is, and also what it is when the couple is two people of the same sex. nobody wants that.

    Although… I think people should consider… what if YOUR child is gay? They will already have to face so much discrimination and confusion in their lives that straight people will not. I would want my child to understand as young as possible that some people are gay, and that’s okay. I would HATE to have a gay child, raised to think that gay was wrong, just as I would HATE to have a straight child, who thought it was okay to treat gay people as anything less than anyone else.

    Does anyone else get all inspired when they read (some) of the comments? It makes me feel so happy to know that I am not alone. Keep fighting the good fight. It makes me proud of my fellow people.. well, some of them. But that’s okay.

  • “Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen.”

    –actually, you are allowed exactly the same rights as everyone else in this country. my girlfriend can’t marry your girlfriend either. you’re asking for special rights based on wants, not constitutional entitlements.

  • More and more of us are WAKING UP, America. No taxation without equality; simple math.

    Now the feds will need to repeal DOMA and DADT, grant us FULL equal rights (including marriage), and begin to start viewing our families – OUR FAMILIES – as the tax-paying contributing members of society we are…..well…..we USED to be!

    Because if our HOMES, our FAMILIES, our very BELOVED are not acknowledged and valued as other families are legally, whatever we do outside of that home will never be acknowledged and valued legally, such as adopting children, working without discrimination, or serving openly in the military.

    FAMILY FIRST. What is more important than FAMILY?

    We owe the IRS absolutely NOTHING until equal. NOTHING. Get it?

    This is NOT a test.
    This is NOT a debate.
    This is NOT a vote.
    This is definitely NOT a popularity contest.

    This IS justice – GAY TAX PROTEST.

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