Now that his hard work is over, Michael Phelps is partying it up in Vegas with his boys!

Who’s he texting????

I DIDN’T GET A TEXT FROM YOU LAST NIGHT, PHELPSY!!!

WHO’S THE WHORE????

Okay guys, I have to leave now. The next flight from Seattle to Vegas leaves in an hour, and I am going to be on it. Because, hey, if I can’t land Phelps tonight, I’ll totally settle for the dude standing next to him. It’s a win/win for me!

But I do.

I think it’s just adorable and perfect and I want it. I love the cut and the lines and the belt and the color and the fabric and everything. Love it love it love it.

Anybody know who makes this?

What I don’t want? Is her lipstick. Looks terrible.

Here’s Paris at the launch party for Nylon magazine’s new TV issue last night. She was partying sans Benji — with a couple of girlfriends — but apparently spent a good portion of the night talking about how much she missed her boyfriend.

So Alec Baldwin’s got this new tell-all coming out, titled A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce and a source who’s read an advance copy says that Alec talks in detail about contemplating suicide after his cruel voicemail to his 11-year-old daughter leaked to the press.

“He writes about how he was serious about suicide. He definitely put a lot of thought into the different ways he could accomplish it,” says the source. Eventually, Alec writes that he decided to seek treatment, because he was no good to his daughter or anyone else in his depressed, suicidal state.

Ugh, I don’t know how I feel about like 8000 celebrities doing interviews or writing books about how at one point in their lives they contemplated suicide. Like, is it a positive thing because it gives hope to people who are currently very depressed that things do improve? Or is it shameless exploitation of a very real issue that does claim lives? I mean, for every celebrity who rants to People magazine about how they were once suicidal, like, tens of thousands of people actually do kill themselves, leaving loved ones in devastation. Do these sort of admissions from celebrities help things? Hurt things? Have no impact whatsoever?

What do you guys think?

LC just released the fall collection for her line, Lauren Conrad.

A lot of these pieces are super-cute … if you’re a size 2. And with prices hovering around the $200 mark, you may be better off just saving up for lipo if you’re much bigger than that.

Did you guys know that nearly 2 out of every 3 people in the world caught at least some of the televised Beijing Olympics?

Additionally, 94% of the Chinese population tuned in at some point.

I knew Evil Beet should have offered to sponsor the Olympics this year. I had a feeling they were going to be big, but my boss was like, “No, no, that’s a waste of money. No one’ll watch it. We’re saving up to sponsor Lindsay Lohan’s next birthday.” I never should have listened.

Hey, you know that Microsoft commercial that they reportedly paid Jerry Seinfeld $10M to be in?

It’s about shoes.

And it’s stupid.

Like Microsoft.

I am LOVING my Mac, you guys. Soooo much better than my PCs with Windows. Like, head and shoulders above.

But, anyway, if you wanna hear Microsoft’s side of the story:

So what’s the deal? In an email we’ve obtained from Microsoft SVP Bill Veghte to all employees, he talks about the goals of the campaign. The overall goal is to inspire consumers and “tell the story of how Windows enables a billion people around the globe to do more with their lives today.” This first phase, he says, “is designed to engage consumers and spark a new conversation about Windows – a conversation that will evolve as the campaign progresses, but will always be marked by humor and humanity.”

The ads are just an icebreaker, he ads, to reintroduce Microsoft to consumers. Later this month they’ll do a deeper dive, which I assume means talking about features.

I still think Microsoft sucks (reminder: Vista crashed on me FOUR TIMES the first — and only! — night I used it) and I love my Mac.