Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Who Wants a Taste of Michael Phelps’ Swimmers?

I do! I do!

Unfortunately, what’s actually being auctioned is private swimming lessons with Michael Phelps … in a pool, clothed.

Michael Phelps fans are about to get the opportunity to bid on their own private swim lessons from the Olympian. Phelps, who’s on the committee for the Animal Care and Control charity event at Pressure on Thursday, agreed to auction himself off. The package will entitle two adults and a child to spend time in the pool with him and include a photo with the superstar and a limited-edition, autographed piece of memorabilia

Listen, Michael, how’s about a trade? You give me swimming lessons, and I’ll give you lessons in … well … that’s a secret for now. But here’s a hint: It’s not blogging.

Thanks Jordana!

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Beet: If you ever get your hands and, I presume, lips on Michael Phelp’s “Size 14”, please take it easy on the guy and try not to kill him with your lustful, libidinous desires leaving him a dried-out cadaver drained of all bodily fluids. Either way, please remember your fans and post a few photos,or, maybe, a video of your ravenous debaucher.

  • Oh, but there is. Granted, I’m not a fan of anything that lies above his Adam’s apple, but there is absolutely a sizable, shall we say “protuberance” in those itty bitty bottoms. I think that color was used specifically for camouflage whilst swaggering in front of large crowds of conservatives and small children. I’m sure he’ll save the bulge-enhancing Speedos for our girl Beet. ;)

  • it’s a proven fact that wearing swim goggles makes your dick look much, much bigger. it was hard at first to make my aunt wear them in bed, but she’s cool with it now.

  • you should post this pic every day. i don’t care for what reason. you could even photoshop a different head on him from time to time, just keep that bod in view.

  • Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your
    articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and everything.
    But imagine if you added some great graphics or videos
    to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this blog could certainly be
    one of the best in its field. Wonderful blog!