Jenna Jameson is apparently preggers, which just seems implausible to me, because I figured if the anorexia hadn’t completely destroyed her uterus, the twenty-year parade of huge cocks would have, but I guess I was wrong, because Tito Ortiz has successfully knocked her up. I guess if it can happen to Bones Richie, it can happen to anyone.

This kid is going to be so miserable. Like, pretty much anything anyone says about his mama is going to be true. Any joke that begins with “Yo momma’s such a slut …” will have to end with a nod of begrudging agreement from this child, instead of a left hook. That’s unfortunate.

Uh-oh!

It’s getting serious.

Mary-Kate Olsen has been subpoenaed by the DEA to testify in front of a grand jury regarding the death of Heath Ledger.

MK had previously refused to talk to investigators without a guarantee of immunity, but now they’re not giving her much of a choice.

Legal eagles, weigh in: can she still invoke the fifth amendment on the stand at a grand jury hearing?

Hi all,

We’ve just made a series of changes to try to ward off the spam commenters who are driving everyone nuts around here. The primary change is that you now have to have an approved comment before you can start commenting all willy-nilly. So if your comments don’t appear right away, don’t freak. I’ll approve all of them that aren’t spam, and, once your login info is approved for one comment, I won’t have to approve any of your future comments, and it’ll be just like normal.

If for some reason you’re still having trouble seeing your comments after more than a day, check to make sure you’re not actually promoting WealthyRomances.com, and then email me at evilbeet@gmail.com and we’ll figure out what the problem is.

xoxo
Beet

They take their dogs to work!

Or is that just me?

Here’s Blake Lively, wandering around the set of Gossip Girl in Manhattan with her three-year-old Malti-Poo, Penny.

“I bring her with me everywhere,” Blake said in a recent interview. “It’s nice to have another heartbeat. She’s a little piece of home.”

I totally get it. Leo comes everywhere with me, too. Even to the office. Where he wanders around, barks, eats, and occasionally pees in places he shouldn’t. It’s fantastic. When I’m feeling lonely or stressed, I just put my fingers on his little chest and feel his heartbeat and it calms me down. I do that when I can’t sleep, too. My cat Josie sleeps on my left side, and Leo sleeps on my right. But Josie is so fat that I couldn’t feel her heartbeat even if I put my hand on her chest, so I don’t even bother. But it’s so calming to have someone to sleep with, even if they’re not exactly who I hoped I’d be sleeping with at this age.

In addition to the three-year prison term Wesley Snipes is currently facing after being convicted on three counts of willfully failing to file his income taxes, a judge just ordered him to pay $217,000 to cover what it cost the government to prosecute him.

I like reading stuff like this, because, like, if I’m driving and I hit three red lights in a row, I throw up my arms, make loud whimpering sounds, and announce to myself that the universe hates me and nothing is going my way today. So it’s important for me to see stuff like this and think, “You know, I don’t owe anybody $217,000 today, and I’m not appealing my prison sentence, either. So I guess it’s okay that Burger King is still serving breakfast only when I want a Whopper. I guess that’s not the worst thing ever.”

It hasn’t been made particularly clear why, but E! host Giuliana Rancic (nee DePandi) is suing her former agency, William Morris, for “breach of contract and fiduciary duty,” according to her lawyer. “They put the interests of other clients they had ahead of hers,” he said. “It was a major conflict of interest, so she fired them. She’s claiming all money back that she paid them and damages in the millions.” William Morris declined comment. Giuliana is now repped by CAA.

I have no idea what actually happened here, and I’d love to hear the details. If you know them, please get in touch.

Also, a girlfriend texted me out of the blue last night like “Did Giuliana Rancic get a boob job?” And, while I know a ton of useless facts about all sorts of celebrities (I can pretty much draw Lindsay Lohan’s vagina from memory!), I do not know the answer to that. So I started going through old photos of Giuls on the photo services to try to figure it out. I didn’t arrive at a definitive answer, but I was reminded that Giuls had a very serious relationship with Jerry O’Connell in his pre-Romijn days, and also used to be all BFF with Joe Francis before she realized he was no longer doing anything at all to help her career. So that was fun.