Lindsay and Samantha celebrated Sam’s 31st birthday last night by hitting up a ton of Hollywood clubs, and, of course, renting an ice cream truck.

This is an amazing idea. I had planned to take a bunch of my friends to get Glamour Shots for my next birthday (do they still have Glamour Shots? oh please say they do!) but I may rent an ice cream truck and drive around all day instead.

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise did a little photo shoot for the paparazzi in Manhattan the other day.

This little girl, I must admit, is becoming quite adorable. When she was younger, she didn’t quite know what to make of the paparazzi, but I think she’s starting to understand what they are and how to pose for them. It’s about time. Shiloh knew how to do that when she was six months old.

After quietly dating rodeo man Ty Murray for ten years, Jewel finally tied the knot this weekend in the Bahamas.

“I dreamt about this day since I was a little girl on a ranch in Alaska,” Jewel said in a statement. “It was relaxed and romantic. I wore a traditional wedding gown and diamonds and he wore jeans and a button down shirt! Ty’s definitely my perfect prince.”

“We both have been so blessed in our lives,” Ty said. “We’re lucky to have each other and look forward to starting a family together.”

Why get married after ten years of dating?

She’s probably preggers already.

I don’t even know why. I just heard it today for the first time in forever and I was like “Oh my God this song is totally epic.”

I just got back from the press screening of Tropic Thunder, the new Ben Stiller flick, and I have to say that it was the funniest movie I’ve seen in years. Seriously. Fucking hilarious. Amazing. I laughed non-stop. Everybody in it is freakin’ phenomenal, and you know the weirdest part?

Even Tom Cruise is awesome.

He plays moneyman Les Grossman, who’s rumored to be based heavily on Viacom head Sumner Redstone, who nobody hates more than Tom Cruise. So Tom plays him as a narcissistic, evil, heartless, insane, booty-shaking maniac. He commits totally, and it is, I must say, quite brilliant and hilarious.

I sincerely urge everybody to go see this film. I really can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard in a movie. It was fab.

But I got up early today and had a long day (and did yoga! I am both fit and spiritual!) so I’m going to bed early. I’ll be back tomorrow morning, when hopefully something interesting will be happening.

If you need something to entertain you until I get back, please read this article on the burgeoning practice of doggie yoga. I stumbled upon it earlier today, and then spent the rest of the afternoon attempting to take a picture of Leo in tree pose. I made my coworkers help out. So really the entire office was unproductive. I’m a team player like that. One person held Leo’s hands together, and another person tried to lift his left foot up against his right knee, and one person held the camera, and, in general, the end result was that Leo did not stay still and eventually peed. Seriously he peed on my hand three separate times while I was trying to do the legs and then he started crying and that’s when we stopped. He did not find it relaxing and enjoyable like the article said he would. Moral: Yoga is not for dogs, dumbasses.

Oh, don’t tease me like this!

Seriously this Mini Me sex tape back-and-forth is like a guy putting it in, taking it out, and being like “You know, I’m just going to stop for now.” IT’S NOT FAIR. I’d rather just fuck Verne Troyer; at least then I wouldn’t know it was in to begin with.

Anyway, in order to prevent his sex tape from being released, Troyer first has to copyright the tape. In order to copyright the tape, he must find a copy. And he’s having some trouble doing that.

[Ranae] Shrider, unsurprisingly, has provided no assistance to her diminutive former better half, with her manager telling the Los Angeles Times she hasn’t seen the tape since selling it to an anonymous man who approached her with a wad of cash outside their once-shared house.

“He just said, ‘Here’s some money,’ ” Shrider’s manager, Holly Bannon, told the paper. “She just wanted to be rid of it, so she said okay.”

Bannon said the transaction, which earned Shrider $5,000, was a simple “cash deal” and that no paperwork was involved.

Ahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I LOVE this girl.

Troyer’s lawyer got all pissed, responding “Come on! Some guy just pulled up to the curb and gave her five grand? Was it in a paper bag?” That’s a real quote, not something I made up to be funny.

I WANNA SEE THIS TAPE.

RIGHT NOW.