DUH.

The AP has uncovered new evidence that some of the women on the Chinese gymnastics team are, in fact, under the required age of 16.

Duh, duh, duh.

Have you seen those girls? They made the girls from our team look old and fat. In fact, they made the teeth of the girls from our team look old and fat. Say what you want about body fat, genetics, etc, nobody is still sporting all their baby teeth at the age of 16.

China is, of course, not interested in admitting that the girls’ ages were faked, and the IOC doesn’t seem particularly interested in investigating further. This sucks. It’s the kind of bullshit you would have expected to see from the Soviet teams twenty years ago, but not today.

Meanwhile, the All-Arounds are tonight. Hopefully Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin can get out there and kick some ass!!!

Batman will not face charges in relation to the “verbal abuse” incident that took place last month, say UK officials.

Britain’s Crown Prosecution Service said there was insufficient evidence to afford a “realistic prospect of conviction,” and ordered police not to take any further action.

If this were a physical abuse case, I’d be all like “WTF???” but I still can’t really figure out what “verbal abuse” is, at least in a criminal sense, because if my little sister went running to the cops every time I called her a shithead, they’d have no time to do important things like arrest celebrities for DUIs. So thank goodness the U.S. doesn’t operate that way.

Isla Fisher makes a rare appearance with Olive, her adorable little daughter with Sacha Baron Cohen.

Cuteness!!!

Brad Pitt and Zahara do ridiculously adorable things in the south of France.

Seriously.

Will these people adopt me?

I know everybody says that, but I mean it! I love my parents, but I want Brad Pitt to carry me like that.

Sigh.

Remember when we were all calling Jennifer Love Hewitt fat, and she was all like, “I love my body just the way it is!” In fact, let me quote again what she wrote on her blog late last year:

I’ve sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women’s bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I’m not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image.

A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn’t make you beautiful …

And like all women out there should, I love my body.

To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini — put it on and stay strong.

But now!

She’s lost 18 pounds!

And she’s gonna make DAMN SURE it’s cover news!

“SEE GUYS! I’M SKINNY AGAIN!!! YOU CAN SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT ME AGAIN BECAUSE I’M VALUABLE NOW!!!”

This shit pisses me off big time. Sending mixed messages like this is more dangerous than just coming out and being like, “Dude, I hate being fat and I feel disgusting when I’m fat,” like Jessica Alba did.

Shut. The fuck. Up. Jennifer.

Rumors has it that Jennifer Aniston’s new man is none other than Matt Felker — the guy from the “Toxic” video, and also Selma Blair’s ex. What is it with Jen and male models?

Also, sources are reporting that Jen dumped John — after the third time he’d cheated on her.

Apparently, Aniston gave Mayer a “three strikes and you’re out” ultimatum — after learning about his “quickie” flings with a cocktail waitress and a promoter’s assistant for his concert tour.

That was two strikes. Another dalliance, with a groupie, was the final straw for Aniston.

Uh, dude?

This is so fucked up.

What the hell are you saying about yourself when you tell your boyfriend, “Sure, you can cheat on me, but only twice.”

I mean, I doubt this is true, but if it is?

So stupid.