Today's Evil Beet Gossip

OMG, Michael Lohan Is the Lowest Form of Human Life

Hi guys! I’m back from vacay! Which was wonderful! But you know how awful it is when you get the most relaxing massage ever and then get in your car to head home and hit terrible traffic? And you’re like “Fuckin’ a, this shit just un-did all my relaxation?”

Michael Lohan is my traffic jam.

What kind of parasitic slime uses the death of his own father to diss his ex-wife, lie about his daughter and satiate his sick need for fame?

Oh, yes. Michael Lohan.

So Michael’s father (Lindsay’s grandfather) died, he issued this statement to OK! magazine:

“My father just, literally, died in my arms. I notified all my kids and my lawyer notified Dina’s attorney. Let’s see if she has the decency and respect to bring my kids to the wake and funeral. THIS will show her true colors! Thus, not even a call. But that’s par for the course with Dina! She didn’t even send a card or visit when he was sick.”

OMG! Does he even realize how fucking insane this sounds? Allow me to explain:

Michael Lohan’s To-Do List After Death of Father:

1) Call Michael Jr.
2) Call Lindsay
3) Call Ali
4) Call Cody
5) Call OK! magazine
6) Photograph dead father from several angles in case anyone’s interested in buying the pics

This man is SICK SICK SICK.

And then he sells this bullshit to E!:

“I was holding him, laying in bed with him, when he died. Lindsay did reach out to me. She sent me a message this morning. She said, ‘Now papa has found peace and maybe we can find peace in our lives, too.’ “

This comes just a day after Lindsay publicly begged her father to keep the media out of her life.

So Lindsay’s taking to her MySpace blog to fight back. Today, she writes:

just going to put it out there, i have had no contact with my father.
and i hope he uses this time to keep mourn the loss of his father, rather than taking the time to talk to the media about me or anyone in my life.
better he just keeps his mouth shut.

on another note-
im having fun on the set of Ugly Betty, the cast is great, the crew is great, and it’s nice to be at work, doing what i love to do!

xoxox

Listen, Lindsay, some free advice: Have your publicist contact every major tabloid publication out there: OK!, People, E!, News of the World, InTouch, everyone. Tell them that anyone who runs a quote from or story about Michael Lohan will never, ever, at any point in the future, receive a quote, an interview or any manner of exclusive with you. You’re the one who’s actually famous here, sweetie. Take back control.

19 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I’m lovin LiLo more & more every minute!
    Welcome back Beet! I’ve missed you & your updates. Hope your mini vacay was nice & relaxing.

  • I missed you! haha is that too weird? :P loved the other ppl who updated for you too! Hope you had a great trip :)

    -J

  • The Victoria Beckham thing gets 20 comments and this gets 7. I am thinking we are all burned out on this trailer trash family. It is only the most desperate gossip bloggers who keep pushing this family in our faces. “Frankly my dear… I don’t give a damn”. Rhett Butler

  • I love you ‘lindsay’ hope you have a perfect life!

    love from Thailand..

    I will keep in touch with you baby

  • Good advice! He need to shut up and go away. It’s sickening to see him do his transparent faux-preacher man schitck. He is hardly relevant or credible so the media should stop bothering us with this blabbermouth. Love LL though, she need to get back to doing some good movies!

  • Welcome Back, beet-oych! I only wish Lindsay would go to every magazine and tell them “1 quote from that fucker and you will never hear from me again, you’re dead to me” Could she pull it off, think so, she is the only talented Lohan as Ali’s show attests!

  • V. Eye Pete – WHY DON’T YOU GO START YOUR OWN FUCKING SITE, AND STOP TRYING TO INFLUENCE THE CONTENT OF BEET’S?

    Jeez

  • The Lohan’s are staging this to keep their drama in the news and get jobs and more money. Lindsay would already be taking care of shutting dad up, if that were not so..

  • even though Michael does come off as a major a-hole, if you watch the Chelsea Lately interviewee with him, you’ll see hes not as much of a jerk as he comes off as in the tabloids.

  • Even though Michael does come off as a major a-hole, if you watch the Chelsea Lately interview with him, you’ll see hes not as much of a jerk as he comes off as in the tabloids.

  • Wait… back up for just a minute.

    You said he photographed his dead father? Did that actually happen or are you just exaggerating his craziness? If that’s true someone needs to throw him into therapy for the rest of his life ~ oh… my… jeebus.. that’s f*cking creepy to the extreme!!!