Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Chris Kattan Is a Freakin’ Moron

Chris Kattan is starting to make Mr. Peepers look like a genius.

Chris dated model Sunshine Tutt for three years, was engaged to her for eighteen months of that time, and now, after eight weeks of marriage, has officially filed for a separation.

This happened to an acquaintance of mine a couple years ago. She dated a guy for almost a decade, they got married, went on a honeymoon, then promptly got separated and divorced. Like in the space of three months.

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

WHAT DID YOU REALIZE POST-WEDDING THAT WAS NOT APPARENT PRE-WEDDING?

Someone explain please.

I sure hope he had an ironclad prenup. Otherwise this could turn out to be a really expensive eight weeks for Mr. Kattan.

17 CommentsLeave a comment

  • “WHAT DID YOU REALIZE POST-WEDDING THAT WAS NOT APPARENT PRE-WEDDING?”

    That marriage is actually just a piece of paper so if you want,get it and just keep dating!

  • I was wondering why he had an “Oh Crap!” look on his face in his wedding photo. What an idiot… if he had any compasion he would have saved her the embarassment and if he had any brains he’d save himself about $2 Million!

  • Speaking as one who’s been “there”, you ignore the faults and tell yourself “I can live with this, I love them” Hah…then you get married and realise Oh shiit. No…I can’t.

  • I was with someone 6 years and we were constantly being asked when we were getting married and being told that we were getting older and needed to settle down. But neither of us felt comfortable with the thought of getting married. The relationship ended up falling apart and we thought, “What would we do if we had gotten married? We couldn’t just leave.” And all the people who thought we needed to get married were now saying it was a good thing we didn’t. So maybe they were getting pressure from outsiders who don’t know anything about their relationship, they took a shot, and then decided they shouldn’t have.

    That or one of them thinks they met the personal assistant of their dreams and wanted to be free to sleep with them.

  • I went to high school with Chris. Like many comedians, he is very needy and will do ANYTHING for attention.

  • chris kattan must be really fucking funny to score some puss like that. she’s a bajillion times hotter than he is.

  • That’s why getting married is crazy!!!!!!!!
    You’re word has to mean more than that piece of paper, looks how easily that paper can be broken!

  • It isnt just a piece of paper it does magical crazy things inside (mostly) the head of women. It is both solidifying and strengthening and suffocating and scary…

  • I like Chris Kattan, but I think I found the problem. He doesn’t look like a groom in this pic, he looks like half a shit load of people kept walking up to him and were congratulating him on his sister’s getting married then wondering who the lucky guy was.

    Lesson learned: Don’t marry anybody people could think your related to i.e. Woody Allen looks like Sune yi (or whatever’s) grandpa.

  • same thing happened to my sister.

    even if the relationship is working ppl have been together for so long they feel obligated to do it

    then they get pressured by family to do it; same happened to my older sister

  • LOL!!! Ok… Where was I? I didn’t even know he was married! I myself wouldn’t marry a guy just because his rich those girls are making us nice girls look bad. Hey if I were Mr Kattan I wouldn’t have trusted a very beautiful Super Model so easily even if she told me she loved me madly it doesn’t mean I have to marry her to make her mine anyway. I don’t know why some people keep falling into that trap. Live your LIFE First WAKE UP PEOPLE LOL!!! And Mr Kattan with All Due Respect Life Goes On and don’t think that the next pretty face you’ll fall in love with won’t bite you in the end again… you’ll just never know! Let your bleeding heart heal and your mind rest you’ll find your Soul mate looking for you anyway you’re a handsome Gentleman and a Good Soul. ;o) If I were married to you the money would not have been the Prize.

    XO XO!!! Ms De Luna,

  • Marriage ruins any healthy relationship. When you go from feeling like you’re a couple bound by common interest and freewill to chained permanently for the rest of your life, life starts to suck!

    that pained expression on his face says it all. it wouldn’t surprise me if the whole thing was her idea in the first place.

  • They say that a man does not know the true meaning of happiness until the moment he steps up to the altar…

    … and at that moment, it’s too late.