Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Chris Kattan and His Wife of Eight Weeks Are Separated

Awww, how sweet.

SNL funnyman Chris Kattan and his June bride, Sunshine Tutt, are separated.

“Separated for the moment. No plans for divorce at this time,” says his rep.

Word on the street is that there’s another woman involved. For which of them, I’m not certain.

Anyway, kids, I’m comin’ to you this time from my NEW MAC BOOK PRO!

Woot woot!

I’m still learning my way around this contraption, but it sure as hell is cool!!! It’s very intuitive and fun to use. You get the impression that they thought about stuff more comprehensively than the Microsoft/PC people did. However, it was WAY more expensive than the Dell, so hopefully it turns out to be worth it. So far, though, I really love it. At the same time, the Dell man is sitting on the couch next to me fixing my old Dell, so that at least I can salvage my files on it.

Sorry posting was slow this morning. Technical difficulties, per usual. Hopefully with my sexy new Mac we’ll be done with technical difficulties forever!

(PS: How the hell do you do a Page Up on one of these things??)

50 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Beet! Great job on the new computer. Trust me, you will have no regrets. I just used my mom’s fancy new Touchscreen Vista Hp the other day and I can understand why so many people switch. Welcome to easy!

    I swear I don’t work for mac, but I would if it’d get me some more sweet ass products!

  • Press the Command key (that’s the Apple key next to the space bar) and while holding that press the Arrow Up key (it might even say page Up on it : )

  • Congrats on the purchase Beet!

    I know the PC feels like hoeme but the MB Pro is more like staying at the W.

    The only issue I’ve had with mine has been with the battery.
    Just get the 3-year Apple care – worth every penny.

    “one of us…one of us…” ;-)

  • she is gorgeous and he is buttugly, i’m guessing he didn’t cheat on her, that it was the other way around… =)

  • you can scroll through a page by using two fingers on the touchpad…just drag em up or down or even sideways…
    i love my mac…it was the best purchase i made in years!
    good work beet!

  • Jesus Christ people I’m returning the one with Vista. I’m not fucking collecting the things. And the old one is still under warranty so it doesn’t cost me a thing to get it fixed. Duh.

  • good choice on the computer, beet! i love my mac so much and in the 4 years i’ve owned it i’ve never had any problems. it’s so wonderful, and definitely worth the money (especially since you don’t have to get it fixed every month!).

  • if you google OSX shortcuts you can do some really cool things, zoom in and out of a page is one of my favorites. double finger scrolling is awesome… downloading widgets….. oh macs are AWESOME. have fun. :) and make sure to play with photobooth! :)

  • So my mom just called me and her 2 week old vista laptop just died, and they said since shes had it more than 14 days (18 shes had it) she can only get it repaired. She is fuming… FUCK MICROSOFT

  • oh yeah…photobooth is the best…i’m expecting weir pics of you beet. widgets are very cool..and you definitely have to download some cool icons (i like the creature icons best) which you can find at the apple page..you can use them as pics for your files and programs so you have little funny pics instead of the boring files…

  • We have all macs and with new version of OSX, it’s easier and faster then ever.

    Use arrow keys. Do you have the 17″ Pro? if so, you have the video etc. Play with it (omg this sounds so sexual now) and you’ll end up liking it.

    if you have specifics, your graphics dept can help, if not email us, there are 10 of us who use them.

  • I am betting that he fell for the whole women vs. women thing…

    When a guy isn’t seeing a woman, no woman comes up to him or returns his calls and so forth…
    Once he is with a woman, many other women are like, what does she see in him??? I must find out for myself…
    He is a man, therefore, easily susceptible to the wiles of the fairer sex, and hence slept with her.
    She then sees that it gets back to his woman.
    Now they are separated.

    BTW, the same thing happens with cabs and buses… If you are waiting for a cab, buses go by, if you are waiting for a bus, cabs go by…

  • Quote:
    So my mom just called me and her 2 week old vista laptop just died, and they said since shes had it more than 14 days (18 shes had it) she can only get it repaired. She is fuming… FUCK MICROSOFT
    /Quote

    Another person woefully lacking in knowledge…
    WHAT does MICROSOFT have to do with your moms LAPTOP breaking, MS does NOT SELL LAPTOPS!!!!
    Nor does VISTA cause your hardware to break!!!
    If the hardware is not working it is the fault of the LAPTOP manufacturer, not the software installed on it!!!
    This is like blaming big oil for getting a flat because your car uses their gas…

    People get off MS’s rod and blame the correct people / companies for a change…

  • Beet, I just found out you can load Windows onto your mac if you’re having troubles with the userface.

  • and Grandizer,

    It is common knowledge that the Vista software causes your laptop to crash. So maybe you should check your facts before posting.

    just saying…

  • From the earliest days of Microsoft they were in bed with the hardware manufacturers with the overall main goal to keep costs at the lowest they could possibly be. Sounds reasonable enough. But, they compromised on the hard-drives! Ooops, wrong hardware to choice!

    The average consumer level Windows computer comes with the low-end hard drives. You can build your own with a higher-quality drives but they cost a premium, whereas Mac’s come with the higher grade hard drives, hence less hard drive problems.

    I’m on my 13th and have never had one hard drive problem.
    Things do happen and I know of others having problems but if you run the Disk Utility App. once a month you stand a great chance of nothing ever happening.

    Plus Beet’s new Mac comes with TimeMachine, so if she were to plug in an external hard-drive to it, you’re backed up full time, so never a loss of anything, even after you accidentally deleted the wrong file.

  • well…i had a problem with my mac harddrive earlier this year…a lot of people told me that their hd just fucked up and all tha data was lost and that the company mac is buying the hd from had a failure supply package…so i put everything i had on an external hd and four weeks later my hd died on me…that really sucked…
    but it was the middle macbook hd and i think the problem is solved…i now have a new hd and hope nothing like that ever happens again… but i keep backing up every two weeks—-time machine is great

  • Then stop talking like it, Beet. Maybe if you were more real we wouldn’t get all confused. You know, the first time I ever came to this site, the way you talked about your dog Leo, I actually thought he was your boyfriend. Maybe if you put in more effort you’d be above criticism.

  • @Holly:

    Yes, I will take advice from you about how to run my celebrity gossip website. Since your celebrity gossip website is so professionally designed and well-trafficked. Shut up.

  • wow –

    everyone’s a little touchy today, eh? i guess that’s what happens when we start to argue over macs and pcs.

    i was going to buy a new computer last year – money was not an object at that moment – just wanted the best one i could get.

    i was (admittedly) leaning towards a mac, a computer i’d never before had… but the fact of vista’s arrival made the decision an easy one. there was NO WAY i was getting vista, so i’m typing right now on a macbook pro and couldn’t be happier.

    unlike a lot of you, i actually don’t agree that it’s amazingly fast – in fact, i think i wait a lot longer for a lot of things and i find you have less ability to stop something that is producing the beach ball of death than on a pc.

    but i’ve been forced to become a vista girl at work recently and can speak first hand on just how fucking awful that shit really is. almost impossible to navigate… i’m trying to think of one thing that has improved, and come up blank.

    that shit sucks, microsoft people, get over it. oh – and leave our beet alone. if she wants to post endless diatribes on the merit of coke vs. pepsi, that’s really her call and her call alone. if you don’t like it – just stop fucking reading.

  • congrats on your macbook pro! i love that you can read the screen outside in the sunshine- enjoying celeb gossip and the weather at the same time. well, maybe not today, but when it’s nice outside…

  • beet, eat an apple or something! gosh! haven’t seen you so touchy since donkey punch accused you of wearing sandals with socks!!! lol.

  • Yay for Macs!!!

    And if they are separated already, they should just annul that marriage. It ain’t gonna work.

  • Beet you rule!!! Don’t take shit form anyone on here!!! WHOO!!!

    And yay for joining the Mac Club!!! I have my own lil macbook pro and I LOVE it.

  • wow beet don’t bite my head off but i agree with joan.
    i think not smoking, a new strenuous diet, additional exercise, computer malfunctions and the potential of michael phelps dating someone other than you is getting to you.

    i recommend alcohol and laughing at people who don’t like your site but who come here anyway and make you $.

    am i the only one who thinks kattan’s wife looks like a tranny? seriously, i thought he was gay. he isn’t? really? wow.

    thanks to everyone for the computer reviews we will be in the market soon and will now consider the mac as a serious option.

  • asta: i just saw your post and you just made me laugh so hard my soda came out my nose. thanks!!!! i love being an anonymous asshole. it’s one of the highlights of my day.

  • Ahhhhh, darlin girl!!!!! You da one!!

    Don’t you just lovelovelove how shiny it is??

    You know, some of the MAC genius guys are really cute….

    And let Holly go, she is just prickly :}

    Oh, and one more thing. I have been thinking about how hard your job really must be. You serve up great stuff, original musings, solid writing, raunchy humor that makes me weep with laughter and a bunch of photos….now, I am thinking all of this takes way loads of time, lots of searching, reading, writing, posting, then reading again…..Beet, you do your job very well…..don’t forget to have your own life.

    And, while I am at it, you can spend your money any way you want to. You earned it.

  • gabriela said it all, perfectly. you give me joy everyday. your mac will make everything easier. is there a problem? thank you for all the times you made me forget how hard life is… and i really, really mean that!!

  • <3 ribbit!

    I’m drinking a glass of Bitch wine. For such a hilarious name it’s actually decent. Mmmmm.

  • The nice thing about the comments today is that I now have all these fun things to do with my mac…

    Yay and thanks for buying one Beet, all that information out there that I didn’t know about.

    And if you want to laugh at vista – have a look at the getamac ads, totally hilarious.

  • Nadine, Learn to “RTFA” read the **** answer…

    I never said that software, whether it be XP or Vista or OSX or Linux can’t crash, I said it does NOT break hardware which is what that person said it did. AND she was blaming the software company rather than the laptop manufacturer.

    And I do know what I am talking about, for over 15 years I built and sold computers for a living. How many have you done?

    just saying…

  • I <3 the Beet and all of her commenters…you guys are fucking hilarious!!!

    I love that the Beet actually reads her comments and takes time out of her day to snap back at you fuckers!!! And I love that all these comment leaving freaks attack each other as if we are all one big disfuctional family.

    THIS IS BETTER THAN THANKSGIVING WITH THE FAM!!!

  • You should play around with Photo Booth in the applications…. we all couldn’t stop laughing at the pictures you can take…. go though the styles, they have a page with what i would compare to funny mirrors at a carnival.

  • Beet bought a Mac? Ugh. I withdraw my offer to put a baby in her tummy.

    Macs are for people who think that buying a piece of electronics will make them more of an individual and an artist. All it proves is that you are sheep who falls for marketing spots and that you don’t know anything about computers.

  • Vista is F**king Awful… update after update and you hope it runs better but it does’nt, and its a resource slut. Computer runs awfully slow even when I have 6gigs of ram and 3.4ghz of processor speed. Windows Explorer is a pig and does’nt run stable. Its Microsoft worse effort yet… I think its OS is nothing but SPAM, crap that you cannot use… Im going to move back to Windows XP Pro…