Some people will do anything for a book deal. Up now: 35-year-old Robyn Okran, who is dedicating a year to doing everything Oprah says to do, to see if it will actually improve her quality of life. Right now she’s blogging about it on livingoprah.com, but you’d better believe she’s looking to get a book deal out of this shit. Because she’s not running any ads on her website, and nobody in their right mind would do this for free.
Ms. Okrant, a yoga teacher who recently completed an M.F.A. in performance at the Art Institute of Chicago, watches “Oprah†every day and reads the monthly magazine cover to cover. She follows the commandments of Ms. Winfrey with an exacting attention. If Oprah were to tell viewers that they must see “27 Dresses,†“I go do it,†Ms. Okrant said. “If she merely says, ‘Mary J. Blige’s CD’s are in stores today,’ I don’t buy it.â€
“With some of the things, like the clothes, in the beginning I was like, ‘How dare she tell me what to wear! I’m an individual!’ †Ms. Okrant said. “But recently, when I went shopping with my mom, I was really excited to fulfill some of the rules. I felt kind of proud of myself. It takes a huge amount of pressure off to be handed a spiritual path.â€
“I’m kind of embarrassed to admit, but I can understand why people want it to be that way,†she added.
You guys, I need a kitschy idea to use to get a book deal. Everyone’s like “You should write a book about celebrities!!!” and I’m like “OMG! Good idea! Because nobody else is writing about celebrities these days! It’ll be a surefire hit.” No, no, I need to do something completely ridiculous for a year so I can get a book deal to write about it. I remember, in college, my friends and I had this idea that one of us should live in a bathroom for a year and write about it. Like, people could bring you food and water and books and stuff, but you could never leave the bathroom for the entire year. And it seemed like a really fun idea at the time, but now, in retrospect, it’s like, what the fuck would you write about? The color of your shits? I mean, it would totally be the most boring book ever. I don’t know what was wrong with us. Except that we were existing on raw potatoes, Newports, cheap vodka and three hours of sleep a night. That might have played into it.
Anyway.
Book ideas, folks. I need them now. This blog just became a pitch session.
Some kind of mystery/thriller about Leo.
> “Ms. Okrant, a yoga teacher”
Need I say more?
Love love love this idea. Seriously. shes found a way to make money off of oprah making money. Fabulous. As long as i dont have to hear about it…. just like the rest of oprah bullshit.
That lady is everything I hate in a person. Although I’m pretty sure my mom would totally love her.
I can proudly say I’ve never seen more than 30 seconds of Oprah. That said, Dr. Phil is my secret shame that I only admit that I watch to you people under the guise of a user name.
you should become an actual pap…and write about trying to live a normal life, dating etc, while following celebs around to take their photos. how you balance your living your life while you’re following the every move of someone else’s
From the marketing genius also known as Down Unda:
How about “Living Oprah George Costanza-style.” Basically, take anything Oprah says to do and do the opposite of it. You’d be getting the residual Seinfeld fans AND Oprah fans. If it turns out horrible, you’ve basically “scientifically” (ha ha) proven Oprah’s “genius” about living. If it turns out great. george Costanza was right.
OR… based on your previous blog entry: The Biggest Klingon. Instead of a fat person going to a camp to lose weight and become healthy, you’d go to a camp to transform yourself into one of those Klingon nerds… you know, learn the language and culture, get a makeover, have people make fun of you, etc.
fuck Oprah-
Write a tell all or romance or just a day in the life of a celeb… from their dogs point of view… think about it… like Jessica Simpson’s Daisy or Paris Hilton’s millions of little dogs, Jessica Biel’s pitt mixes.. or even a book where it’s lots of celebs pets… something cutesy but full of actual innuendo… or have the dogs speaking only if their identities are concealed or something like that…
I know! Try living like a celebrity for a year. You could start with Lindsay Lohan. the DUI comes first, then the kissing girls.
>fuck Oprah-
A pitch? It could work…
Dateland: Using the combined powers of all those ridiculous dating sites, maybe including the spam ones – go one a date every single day of the year.
Each chapter would be the fellas name. Along the way you’d learn about yourself, nay, the world.
Or something.
Unconventional entrepreneurship for women.
Ha! I agree with Spiteful Lars. That’d be a super fun book. I’d read it.
Or, or…you could get all the readers to give you some completely random off-the-wall task/thing to do. Pick your favorite 365 and do one each day for the year. And write about it. Or not.
Your life actually reminds me of “Bridget Jones” somewhat. You could probably write along those lines, but I’m guessing you would probably be funnier. Women love to hear about the funny single life of others. Especially when you are married, you say to yourself sometimes, “Phew glad I’m not single anymore”. I love hearing your stories of your every day life. I think you should flow with that.
Go visit ER rooms around the country for a year and blast the doctors and nurses who give less than stellar treatment.
You should have no problem filling volumes and, who knows, maybe you’ll get plenty of pictures of pelvic bones that might or might not remind you of that swimmer who looks like Telly from Kids.
Fairest Beet
Yes…anything that is staggeringlysuccessful should alway have some secondary industries attached to it like remoras.
I’m shocked none of your clever readers has suggested that you write “The Year of Living Tyra.” Try doing everything she says to do…
or…
How about, The year of Living White Oprah…you could do everything Dina Lohan says for a year…
The possibilities are endless
How about writing a book on your inability to come up with your own ideas?
a six degrees of separation exercise within the disney child star churning machine over the decades.
You could easily compose a volume of the mean and hateful things people say here under the guise of anonymity.
Since people are so afraid that gay marriage will lead to people doing all kinds of crazy stuff like, I don’t know, marrying dogs. Just skip the gay part and try to marry Leo. See how far you get. People’s reactions that kind of stuff.
And by the way MW…. Go fuck yourself with something hard and sand papery.
oprah sucks. george costanza rules. down unda should be your new life coach/boyfriend.
Obviously, Oprah’s life lessons were completely lost in tranlsation for this one…..
Ironic how she’s making it her year-long mission to live her life entirely according to O when O’s always encouraging her viewers to “choose their own path” or live the life they want to live :-/
Ha ha! :-) For the record Beet, I didn’t log in as “Joan” and write that myself. :-)
My brother once tried to live in a friend’s bathroom for a week with just his guitar, hoping to inspire some brilliant music. Everyone had a scheduled time to visit and bring snacks, and we even had a big party to send him off.
He lasted 1.5 days. I don’t think it can be done.
dude, add unlimited meth to the picture and extended bathroom living is entirely possible. (never done it myself, but i have seen it done. . .and it is NOT cool)