Here’s Shaquille O’Neal and Shaunie, the wife he’s supposedly divorcing, looking more than civil on the 4th of July in the Caymans.

More importantly: what the hell is in Shaq’s mouth?

Justin Chambers, who plays such a hottie on Grey’s Anatomy, always looks exhausted and disheveled in real life. I honestly cannot think of a single time I’ve seen him in a candid photo where he didn’t look like total crap. He even looks awful in red-carpet photos.

In fact, he checked himself into UCLA’s psych ward for a “sleep disorder” earlier this year.

I know, I know, he has five kids, but he also has a wife, and, for the love of God, he can afford to hire a nanny. I’m by no means encouraging handing off child-rearing responsibilities to a nanny, but this guy can afford a little help around the house. And science has very, very good meds for sleep disorders these days, and, once again, there’s no reason this guy can’t afford a proper diagnosis and treatment.

My diagnosis?

DRUG. PROBLEM.

I mean, we know so little about the guy, and I hate to jump to conclusions (hee … yeah, right) but does anyone have an alternate explanation for how this guy ALWAYS has huge circles under his eyes and looks like he pulled his clothes straight out of the hamper? Even on the red carpet, when he would have had full access to a stylist and makeup artist beforehand? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

It’s time for another round of Guess That Celebrity!

This one’s way juicier — and funnier — than the first, IMHO. (By the way, in case you didn’t figure it out, the first one was Vincent Gallo. And shame on those of you who guessed Andy Dick. Andy Dick doesn’t sleep, silly people! Naked or otherwise! He’s WAY too coked up for that!)

So … guess that celebrity!!!

Thanks again to the kids at Garden Party for putting these together.

Yeah, I wasn’t sure either.

And neither is Blake’s camp.

Her reps are reportedly annoyed with Seventeen magazine for this photo (above) that they used of Blake on her new cover for the rag.

Note that Blake is on the cover of THREE magazines this month.

“Her Vanity Fair and Cosmopolitan covers are great, but her camp is not thrilled about her Seventeen cover,” said one source. “Her rep felt the Seventeen photo looked nothing like Blake.” Lively’s rep confirmed she was not “over the moon” with Seventeen and called the magazine about it but claimed her client wasn’t behind the call – “Blake hasn’t even seen the shots yet,” said the rep.

Gosh, you guys, remember when Blake Lively was my Little Girl Crush Who Could?

She belongs to the world now.

So sad.

OMG you guys.

It’s almost 5 am and I still can’t sleep.

I think it has something to do with the fact that I slept most of the day on Monday, but I can’t be sure of that. And the bummer about Seattle is that the days are super-long — meaning the sun is already coming up. The birds will start chirping soon and I will have to remind myself that I have, in fact, not done cocaine in a really, really long time, let alone last night. But the whole experience will perturb me exceptionally.

Anyway, I’m sure well-rested me would have a TON of funny things to say about the fact that former Home Improvement child star Zachery Ty Bryant is suing a San Diego hotel for tasering him when he drunkenly attacked the staff because they wouldn’t let him up to his hotel room because the room was in his wife’s name. Zach is suing for damages in excess of $25,000. Unfortunately, tired and soon-to-be perturbed me has nothing more to say than this: Honestly, Zach, do you need the money bad enough that it’s worth 8000 gossip bloggers and tabloids making fun of you for the next week? Is it worth having the fact that you got shit-faced drunk and acted like a huge boner broadcast to the world? Do you plan to grant exclusive interviews to OK! magazine now? Is this really what it’s come to?

Honestly, you would never see this kind of bullshit out of Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Also: Zachery Ty Bryant is hot now. I’d do him.

Now you guys be funny about this in the comments while I go to bed.

I’m not kidding.

Despite the fact that the U.S. federal government refuses to admit to the medicinal uses of marijuana, they have owned the patent on medicinal uses of marijuana since 2003.

Applied for in 2001!

Here’s part of the abstract:

US Patent 6630507 – Cannabinoids as antioxidants and neuroprotectants

Cannabinoids have been found to have antioxidant properties, unrelated to NMDA receptor antagonism. This new found property makes cannabinoids useful in the treatment and prophylaxis of wide variety of oxidation associated diseases, such as ischemic, age-related, inflammatory and autoimmune diseases. The cannabinoids are found to have particular application as neuroprotectants, for example in limiting neurological damage following ischemic insults, such as stroke and trauma, or in the treatment of neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease and HIV dementia. Nonpsychoactive cannabinoids, such as cannabidoil, are particularly advantageous to use because they avoid toxicity that is encountered with psychoactive cannabinoids at high doses useful in the method of the present invention. A particular disclosed class of cannabinoids useful as neuroprotective antioxidants is formula (I) wherein the R group is independently selected from the group consisting of H, CH3, and COCH3.

The assignee?

The United States of America as represented by the Department of Health and Human Services.

Just for fun, here’s the 2006 FDA memo about how marijuana has “no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States.”

Hm. Hit the pipe and think on that one, kids.

Full patent is viewable here.

Oh, and just to be a huge asshole, I’d like to note that the term “new found” in the second sentence of their abstract is a grammatical error. The word should be “newfound” or “new-found.”

Shut up, government.

Thanks Mary!