Very important question.

So Max (my big male cat) and Leo (my little male dog) have this little game they play, where Max pins Leo down and then starts biting on his neck, vampire-style. Like, Max opens his mouth wide and sinks his teeth into Leo’s neck and just keeps them there. To the point where I find myself vaguely concerned that Max is going to give Leo a hicky. This behavior has gone on for several days. Leo doesn’t seem to mind — sometimes he swats a little at Max, but mostly he just stays very still and, when Max lets go, he jumps up to play again. I have tried to get photos but I’m never near a camera when they do it. Does anyone know what this behavior indicates? I’ve never seen a cat do this to another animal before. Max also sometimes bites Leo’s ears. Leo does mind this, and he squeals, and then Max realizes he’s crossed a line and stops.

But Leo seems to have developed an allegiance to Max. When Max and Josie (the girl cat) were in a brawl earlier today (a serious hissing brawl — the two of them are in a love triangle with Ashley that’s been causing problems for years, long story), Leo jumped up, barked, and ran to Max’s side, then circled him to make sure he was okay. It was very sweet.

Oh, and here are the first pics of Jamie Lynn Spears’ baby.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha.

Not that there’s anything funny about nut-related anaphylactic shock.

But aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Sometimes you feel like a nut!

Sometimes you’re in anaphylactic shock!

OMG I crack myself up.

I also like how when you’re talking about David Lee Roth almost dying from “a nut,” there’s the vague connotation that he entered cardiac arrest during orgasm. I considered playing on that angle, but it’s 2 am and I’m lazy.

Should I actually tell you guys the news story I’m referencing?

Okay.

Two Ontario police officers have been credited with saving the life of Van Halen singer David Lee Roth – after he suffered a severe allergic reaction.

The rocker was pulled over on a stretch of highway in Oakland, Ontario on June 8 for speeding, and when cops approached the vehicle, they realized the star was in anaphylactic shock.

Roth has an allergy to nuts and was suffering a severe reaction after coming into contact with a contaminated substance.

The officers called an ambulance and kept Roth calm until paramedics arrived on the scene.

Okay, okay, okay.

Now I’m going to get lectured about how peanut allergies are very serious things. And they most certainly are. But in the David Lee Roth context, please, you have to admit it’s kind of totally hilarious.

Update: Roth is denying that this was him, saying that it was actually an impostor and that he’s not allergic to nuts. Weird!!!

I have to admit it: my opinion of Anne Hathaway has done a 180. I am such a sick person, but now that it turns out she was in a long-term relationship with a world-class con man, I like the girl a WHOLE heckuva lot more. Character flaws! Always the fastest way to my heart.

Anne’s been traveling the world to promote Get Smart, and she’s been looking nothing short of stunning on red carpets from Mexico City to Rome to Madrid, which is her current stop.

Perfectamundo!

She’s also done a great job of showcasing totally different looks for herself in each city. A lot of actresses try that when they’re doing international promotions for films, but they rarely pull it off as well as Anne has.

Eh, I want to like Claire Danes, I really do. I liked her in My So-Called Life. But I cannot get over that whole thing where she stole Billy Crudup from Mary-Louise Parker after Mary-Louise got pregnant. Like, I’m sure, at this point, even Mary-Louise Parker is way over that. I, however, am not. I still kind of get a little bristly when I see Claire, even in this new relationship with Hugh Dancy.

Anyway, here’s Hugh and Claire at the Gucci show in Rome. They were the only U.S. stars there. There were a ton of Italian stars. The Italian stars have the coolest names ever. Some examples (and hopefully some Italian search-engine traffic!): Myriam Catania, Vittoria Belvedere, Claudia Pandolfi, Alba Rohrwacher, Chiara Martegiani, Eros Galbiati, Clementina Montezemolo, Chiara Conti, Carolina Crescentini, Dorothea Mercouri, Isabella Ferrari, Ilaria Spada, the list goes on and on! Italian stars have the best names. I really spend an absurd amount of time thinking about what I’d use as a stage name if I ever decided to go into acting (don’t worry, I don’t plan to go into acting, I just like to think about my name), and I really think now that I’d have to go with a last name of “Belvedere” or “Ferrari.” Just so unbelievably awesome.

Oh, and one more thing: you know those loose, long floral dresses that Nicole Richie’s been looking ridiculous in all around town lately? They were all over the Gucci runway yesterday. Somehow, they look way less ridiculous on the models.

It’s official!

Joe E. Tata has reprised his role as the Peach Pit’s owner Nat on 90210 v2.0.

Joe — who is 71 years old now — confirmed that he had wrapped filming on scenes for the show’s pilot.

As to whether or not he’ll stay on full-time:

“The coin’s in the air for me. I guess it comes under the heading of magic test: Let’s see if the audience still remembers me … Cops and firefighters say to me, `I used to watch the show — I mean, my wife did, or girlfriend.’ But they knew more about the show than I did.”

Amy Winehouse looked a little confused but comparatively well put-together when she arrived at the Stapleford Centre in London today, which is supposedly a “rehab” in West London.

I checked out their website, and they seem to be less of an inpatient rehab and more of a detox and naltrexone distribution center. They specifically state that they don’t take a 12-step approach to dealing with addiction.

Jesus, I think they’re just injecting this girl with naltrexone and praying for the best.

Update:

So I’ve spent some more time perusing this place’s website, and I just keep getting angrier.

From the “Our Ethos” page:

So, you have a drug problem! [Ed: I'm not kidding, it actually starts like that.] There are various reasons why you might have one and it may or may not be your fault in some sense, but as far as we are concerned, you have a problem now and you need help. We are not about to make a moral judgement on your problem; we are just interested in finding a way for you to go forward. The first objective will be to get you stable, functional and legal. Naturally, the best option is usually to get drug-free if you can but if it is not practicable in the short term or you can not contemplate it, then maintenance is a good option for now.

…

If we can get you clean we will, and that is always our primary aim; but if we believe your chances of success are very slim, we will tell you. There is no point in setting yourself up for failure at great expense. It is often better to wait for the right time when you are prepared and stable and likely to succeed.

Drug and alcohol problems are personal and individual things in the way they start, how they continue, and what treatment approach works. This is why we treat you as an individual and tailor the treatment option to your needs. We do not use a ‘one size fits all’ or ‘take it or leave it’ approach. We try to be flexible, eclectic and sensible in our approach to your problem. Your life may have caused you to take drugs or the drugs may have caused you life problems and this web may need to be untangled and general life issues discussed and advised upon. ‘Timing is everything’, and you will change with time and so will your needs. We like to maintain regular contact with our patients and offer a forum to discuss just about anything that may have a bearing on the drug or alcohol problems.

OMG!

Translation:

So you’re a crack addict!

That’s so sad. :(

What we’re going to do is help you to use crack safely so that its impact on your life and career is minimal.

Sometimes staying completely off crack is hard. :(

We don’t want to make you do anything that’s hard. If you fail at staying off crack completely, you might get discouraged. We don’t want you discouraged, Mr. Crack Addict.

Let’s help you to incorporate recreational crack use into your routine. We don’t want you abusing crack. You just need to learn how to moderate your use of crack cocaine. So that it can be fun again, like it was the first time.

Give us your credit card and sign here.

God, this is what every addict doesn’t need to hear from a medical facility. Ever.