La Lohan and SamRo are back in LA, and were roaming the streets the other day. And it’s actually come to this — I am censoring a T-shirt. Because there are penises on Samantha’s T-shirt. Because she is cool with that. I want a T-shirt with a penis on it. In fact, I want anything with a penis on it. I get no play.

Uncensored pic is after the jump. I may or may not get an email from my boss asking me to take it down. If the penis is on a T-shirt, does that count as a real penis? I’m not sure. It’s art, Mr. Boss Man. It’s art. See? Like this:

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A cigarette brand has withdrawn their promotional activities at an Alicia Keys concert in Indonesia, after the singer protested their involvement.

A Mild cigarettes, which are made by Philip Morris International, were sponsors of her show in Jakarta. When Alicia learned of this, she requested that the company withdraw their sponsorship.

“I am an unyielding advocate for the well-being of children around the world and do not condone or endorse smoking,” she said.

The company obliged, saying “Whether tobacco sponsorship of music events leads to youth smoking is a matter of serious debate. Having considered the facts in this specific instance, we have decided to withdraw all branding associated with this concert.”

And speaking of smoking — I have had a lot of false starts and stops, but I’m currently going on day five smoke-free! It’s the farthest I’ve gotten with non-smoking in awhile, so I’m hopeful. Plus, my mom is coming to visit on Friday, and there’s no way I’m going to start smoking again with her here (she’ll kill me much faster than the tar ever would), so I figure I’ll get at least a week and a half under my belt by the time she leaves. And that’s a LONG time without a cigarette when you’re basically a lifelong smoker like me. Keep your fingers crossed! (Oh, and I have to give a shout-out to my grandfather, who has relentlessly been shipping me packages with quit-smoking materials, like twice a week since he called me to announce himself as my “quitting buddy,” even though he’s never smoked in his life. I love you, Grandpa!!!)

Here’s Jessica Alba, out and about with Cash Warren, just weeks after giving birth to little Honor Marie (who was not along for the trip).

Jessica looks much less pissed to see the cameras now that she’s lost that baby weight. She shared after Honor’s birth about how desperate she was to ditch the extra weight that made her feel unsexy. How vain is that! Like, I understand wanting to get your body back, but you were pregnant, Jess. The weight gain is nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, I’ve never been pregnant, so I can’t really say for sure, but when I’m pregnant I plan to eat anything and everything I want.

Come to think of it, I kind of do that anyway.

At dinner last night, there were four of us, and I forced everyone to order a dessert — after I’d eaten lobster, steak, oysters, bread, mashed potatoes and asparagus — and my girlfriend and I were going to share one. So there were three desserts in front of us, and I just dug the hell in. As I was scarfing down the chocolate cake, one of my guy friends was like, “Beet, try the tart,” and after I’d swallowed my gigantic bite of chocolate cake, I was like, “I dunno, dude. It’s not really on my diet,” and then I laughed at my own joke for like 10 minutes. Ha ha. I think I’m just going to start telling people I’m pregnant so I don’t have to feel guilty about eating like crap. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t feel guilty about eating like crap. I love it!

Oh, and check out Jessica’s wedding ring. It’s kinda funny-looking. Maybe this is just a bad angle.

Word on the street is that Mike Myers is in the early stages of reliving his glory days by penning a fourth Austin Powers movie. This is probably a wise move, seeing as everything else Mike Myers touches these days seems to turn to box-office crap.

However, Myers is moving away from his tried-and-true Austin Powers formula: this upcoming film will reportedly focus on the relationship between Dr. Evil and his son, Scott Evil, played by Seth Green. “It’s very personal with a father and son theme loosely based on his own life,” says an insider.

What do you guys think?

Is a fourth Austin Powers a good idea?

And who will be cast as the hot chick???

If you’d held out some glimmering ray of hope that the entire new NKOTB album might not be unbearable treacle like the first single, it’s time to let that hope quietly collapse.

You can listen to their second single — which is actually titled “Single” — here. They teamed up with Ne-Yo on this one, which was just plain poor decision-making … on Ne-Yo’s part.

The entire album will be out September 2.

Sometimes life cranks out little treats that are just too good to be true. For instance, today I was at Pike Place Market and purchased a cinnamon role with chocolate sauce and a cream cheese whipped topping. At the time, I was fairly certain that was going to be the best treat I got all day. But I was wrong!

As John McCain released a slew of campaign videos comparing Barack Obama to that irresponsible, crotch-flashing little trollop Paris Hilton, it turns out that Rick and Kathy Hilton donated a whopping $4600 to the McCain campaign earlier this year. Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha! Somehow I doubt they’ll be doing that again.

Britney Spears’ parents are less upset, as they’d just donated one of their grandchildren to help out around McCain’s office. They figure there’ll be plenty more where that one came from.