Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Das Boot

As I was heading out to the ER, my wonderful friend Laura called and told me to go to a podiatrist instead. I called a nearby one, explained my situation, and they said they could get me in today. Which they did. It was a very fancy office with very fancy X-ray equipment and I have a very fancy broken foot. And now I am wearing this very fancy monstrosity.

As my mother pointed out to me while I was whimpering to her on my drive home from the doctor (“Mom, this is not fashion-forward!”), this is my very first real injury. Hooray! I popped my bone-injury cherry! Up next: anal sex!

This means I can no longer do my boot camp or my volleyball or all the new exercise stuff that I was finally getting into. My mom’s like, “God always has a plan with these things,” and I was like, “Yes, Mom, God has made it very clear that he does not want me to exercise.” I am destined to marry a man who likes his women a little soft in the tummy. So long, Greg Plitt fantasy.

Anyway, if you’re still reading this, you really shouldn’t be. Get out and enjoy your long weekend. That’s what I’m going to hobble off and do!

38 CommentsLeave a comment

  • well, we don’t get a long weekend here because New Zealand is not part of the United States. haha.
    and don’t worry, i had one of those boots. it was for a stress fracture though… running is the devil people

  • Uh, I’ll be literal and mean after wishing you a speedy recovery. But, what does a broken foot have to do with you doing some sit-ups, and a few other exercises, for that matter?

    P.S. Word on the street is that GP likes anal, though it’s unclear which end he prefers to be on (ha ha!).

  • oooh, your cats have a double-wide scratch box.

    dr slouchy prescribes high quality chocolate and video rentals.

  • it’s okay, you still have Leo. I’m sure he’ll be more than enough entertainment while you heal. have a speedy recovery!!

  • do you still have a profile on ‘Ric h k iss.co m’? I saw it days ago. And there were many nice pics of you. I love them. Are you still there?

  • Next time, try injuring your vagina. Pictures like that would definitely increase your blog’s traffic.

    Just something to think about.

  • awww Beet, do try and have some fun with the boot! and i’m sure there is some kinda something u can do for exercise!

  • Steady reader and lurker here- DO WHAT THE DOCTOR TELLS YOU TO DO- don’t go all butch and try to muscle thru it. I did that with a busted ankle in high school and now, a million years later, it’s STILL the weakest link. Sprained it over and over, ugh…..just do what they told you and try to have a limpy good weekend. I recommend many shandies. 1/2 Sprite, 1/2 Harp, all good.

  • the title of this article made me laugh out loud, thanks! =) sorry about your foot, Beet

  • hope you got some good pain pills. they will help with your next goal too. just kidding, it only hurts if you do it from the wrong angle. . .

  • Ooouch. Feel better Beet! On the upside, did they give you any fun pain killers?
    And think of it this way, when you do leg lifts on that side you’ll be super toned!

  • Coach-
    I doubt Beet would lower herself to put photos on your lame website.

    Lily-
    Study grammar, take a writing class, learn to spell, realize that no one here is interested in what you’re hawking.

    Hey Beet,
    While you’re in recovery, can you delete these idiots?
    Thanks in advance.
    V.K.

    P.S. Your boot reminds me of the gladiator sandals that all the Hollywood fashionista’s have been sporting. Here’s hoping you’re on the mend!

  • Aw, poor Beet! I hope you recover quickly. If it makes you feel any better, this weekend won’t be a vacation for me – I’m studying for the bar exam. I’d almost rather have a broken foot.

  • I just think this picture rocks because of the wonderful huge (but awesome) cat in the background. I’m not making fun of your fat cat. But he/she looks cool in the background! :)

  • Awww Beet!! I don’t think the boot looks that bad though, but i sure hope you get better pretty soon.

    lmao @ anal sex…

    And happy 4th of july!! Have a wonderful time and be careful with that foot if you get drunk lol

  • Dearest Beet, I spent WEEKS with my foot in a brace like that last year – fell of a trampoline…but seeing people like Hilary Duff wearing one made me feel far more fashion forward :)

  • the boot could be colourful, at least
    put ti’ll take away most of the pain
    and it would be harder to wear in LA or AZ
    because of the heat
    there’s always some itching involved

  • this may sound lame but u can still do sit-ups!!!! if its the exercise that bothers u!!! oh, and one more thing i just found out about you site and really like it but why did u name it the evil beet???? thnx

  • Well, personally I think your foot is “good news” because you never know what it could be, maybe something worse, so I think it’s good news!

    And, I’d be more than happy to be the organizer to put together a “kitty” for you and your first Anal!!!!
    : )

    Line Starts Here:

  • Feel better soon, Beet. If I had that boot on, I’d decorate it with scarves and jewelry. At least link two anklets together and wrap it around that puppy. Hey, if it has to be there, you can at least make it festive! I don’t know if that’s fashion forward, but it sure would be fun.

    Oh yeah, and if you have any leftover pain meds, remember your loyal readers! Ouch, I think I feel an ache coming on. ;-)

  • I just got out of my boot on Wednesday–8 weeks after I broke my ankle. Yeah, it’s not attractive, but you’ll be amazed at how quickly you get used to it. Believe me, though: the happiest day of your life will be the day your doctor says “You’re healed! Take off the boot!” Good luck with your recovery!

  • I have my own Shelter here in Connecticut. A huge issue is overweight cats. Not that your a bad owner. First of all your cat should be on Weight control Food. Do not give him ANY canned food at all. No treats, no people food. No different then having a skinny underweight cat. Its just as bad as overweight. Next he needs to run! You have to get your cat toys! Go to Walmart they have 10 play mice for 4 bucks. He will run and play for hours. Your cat will die of a heart attack or become diabetic. Trust me iv seen it happen. Its not healthy. Also do not leave food out all day! People think cats need to eat all day. Even if he is not hungry, because he is there and see’s it he will eat it. Im also glad you realized the horrors of breeders and pet shops. 90% of my rescue comes from people who got their animlas from breeders. Keep up the good work with making me laugh at night and supporting animal shelters =)
    If you have any questions about cats please feel free to email me anytime! DonnaBccComcast@aol.com

  • Vampire King, since you opened the grammar/spelling can of worms, plurals do not get apostrophes. It’s fashionistas not fashionista’s.

    Cat Women (another strange plural), Beet knows her cats are overweight, and it’s all her father’s fault; they were fine before an extended visit with too much love from Grandpa. I’m sure she’ll get them back into shape soon!

    Beet, I was originally going to say DO NOT decorate that cast–that would be so lame. But BeDazzling it? That is so icky it just might be fabulous. Feel better soon!

  • I can’t believe she is wearing socks with a cast.

    (sorry, a lame reference to an earlier joke about sandals).

  • Beet,
    Sorry about you’re foot. I used to ride bulls in the local rodeos and I’ve had plenty of experience with casts-both hard shell and soft shell.

    Now that you have given up on Greg, where do I send my application to be you’re new boyfriend?

    Keep on smiling, Beet!! :)