Congrats to American Idol winner Ruben Studdard, who’s planning a big Southern-style wedding to his fiancee, Surata Zuri McCants, in Alabama on Saturday. Ruben plans to have 20 groomsmen at the wedding, which will be held in the Mountainbrook neighborhood of Birmingham.

This photo was taken at the American Idol Season 7 finale, and what I just can’t figure out is why the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power was advertising on the backdrop. Like, we don’t exactly have a choice. If you want water and power, you’re going through LA DWP. It’s not like Comcast is offering a new fiber-optic water network to compete. I’m confused.

“We were dating,” says Kathy about her relationship with billionaire Steve Wozniak, “but were just friendly. I never fucked him or anything! The truth is, we really were friends the whole time.”

Aw, Steve Wozniak looks like such a sweet little teddy bear, but, I have to admit, even for a shot at his billions, I probably wouldn’t have let him toss it in, either. He just doesn’t do it for me, ya know? I think it’s the fact that he actually looks like a teddy bear. Beady little eyes, fuzzy face, all of that. I mean, everyone loves their teddy bear, but no one wants to have sex with it. Unless you were one of those girls that grew up using their stuffed animals to masturbate. I knew a lot of chicks who did that. It never stopped striking me as strange, and I just think it explains a lot about their problems as adults.

What was I talking about? Certainly nothing more important than a discussion of using stuffed animals for masturbation …

Oh, right, Kathy Griffin.

“When we went to the Emmys together, I put on this really huge engagement ring and didn’t tell him,” she said. “There are these great photos of me posing with this great big fake diamond ring. He didn’t notice! I was like, ‘Oh, by the way at the Emmys, I had on a fake engagement ring!’ And he was like, ‘Oh, that’s very funny.’”

After Kathy and Steve split up, he got engaged to another chick. “I have had dinner with them, and she’s a thousand times more appropriate!” she said. “I hate to say it, but in the Bruce, Demi, Ashton [scheme of things], I’m the Bruce!”

I don’t know what that means. Is she saying that Ashton Kutcher is more appropriate for Demi Moore than Bruce Willis? Or is she saying that Steve’s new squeeze is like 26 years old?

While her twin sister is busy porking Justin Bartha and looking fabulous on red carpets, Mary-Kate is busy … well … actually working.

Mary-Kate — who recently won over audiences with an extended guest spot on Weeds – just spent two days on the set of Samantha Who, where she plays — you guessed it! — a “self-destructive bad girl.”

“She showed up alone, ready to work, is great on set and is serious about the job,” says the show’s executive producer. “This is a girl who’s been in front of the camera almost literally her entire life. She’s smart, and she knows what she’s doing.”

You know, I have to admit I’m kind of rooting for Mary-Kate. It would be nice to see her make the transition into a respected adult actress.

“Honestly, I don’t know what to say because I can’t relate to her right now. I’m extremely shocked. I know if I was 48-years-old, I wouldn’t date a 19-year-old. I just don’t feel it’s her. And through all this stuff, I really need my mom, and she’s doing her own thing. I don’t talk to her anymore. I see her at the jail visiting Nick and she asks me why. I say, ‘I don’t condone what you’re doing. I’m on my path, and you’re on your path.’ I told her, ‘I’d love to have you in my life, to see you and talk to you, but the kind of things you’re surrounding yourself with, it doesn’t make sense to me.”

Brooke Hogan, discussing her relationship with her mother in the new issue of Us Weekly.

Congrats to Britney Spears, who won overnight visits with her two sons at a custody hearing this morning.

“Both sides have been very cooperative the past couple of weeks,” said a spokesman for the LA court.

Kevin Federline will continue to have primary custody of the boys.

OMG we’ve actually found something interesting about Anne Hathaway! Unfortunately, she already dumped him …

Anne’s ex-boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri, has been arrested on wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering charges.

He’s due in Manhattan federal court on Tuesday. Yes, federal. This is some hardcore shit, people.

He is accused of falsely telling an investor that he had been appointed as the chief financial officer of the Vatican.

Authorities say he claimed that, as a result of that connection, he and others could obtain properties of the Catholic church in the United States at a substantial discount to fair market value.

Um … in general, if someone tells you he’s the chief financial officer of the Vatican, and you believe him, you kind of deserve to have your money swindled, don’t you? Survival of the fittest, people.