Today's Evil Beet Gossip

So the Glastonbury Music Festival Was a Complete and Total Trainwreck

Seriously they should just rename this thing Chernobyl.

It was a disaster.

First of all, a slurring, wobbly Amy Winehouse punched a fan. Hard. Multiple times. Video is above.

Then — while drinking on-stage during her set — announced that she is “not opening for a cunt like Kanye,” prompting Kanye to get predictably bitchy on his blog.

And Jay-Z’s answer to Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher bitching about how hip-hop has no place at a rock festival was an opening performance of “Wonderwall,” which is, of course, fucking awesome, and made even more so by the fact that neither Jay-Z nor the audience seems to know the words to anything but the chorus. That video is after the jump.

Okay, and now for important things.

I couldn’t sleep tonight, so I took Leo on a little walk around the city. Let me tell you, there is nothing quite like dragging an adorable dog around Greenwich Village a few hours after the gay pride parade has ended. Leo was accosted by gay men, lesbians, transvestites and heteros, black people, white people, Asian people, Hispanic people, skinny people, fat people, young and old alike. Leo is equal-opportunity adorable. He could unite the whole world with his cuteness. Like, we would be walking past a group of teenage girls, half-drunk and cussing each other out all like, “Listen you bitch if you don’t want me to beat yo ass down right here then don’t you ever get up in my face again like … OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT PUPPY!” I’m telling you. Leo could save the whole world.

The highlight of the evening was when I walked him past a uniformed NYPD officer and he said — and I quote — “That should be illegal, that dog is so adorable.”

It’s Leo’s first night in New York, and he’s already OWNS this city!!!

15 CommentsLeave a comment

  • oh amy.
    well, i must say, i am a little surprised that she’s actually out of her crack den and performing infront of crowds again. congrats on that…and i think i have a new respect for jay z. that was awesome.

  • Everyone in England knows the lyrics to that song. It was him who didn’t know them. And I can’t believe I am quite liking it.

  • If anyone can understand what the hell the Gallagher guys say is a genius. Cause I can’t for the life of me understand what their saying when they talk. Hey at least Jay-Z understood the chorus.

  • Glastonbury has REALLY gone down hill… I mean they told one of the guys from Pink Floyd that he couldn’t play there.

    And MMS anyone who can dicipher your message from your bad grammar is a genius…

    Also, Jay-Z is a wank.

  • Really …..can a dog that shits on hotel room rugs really save the world? I suppose little Leo is a grand metaphor for all that goes on in these pages… if you are cute you can shit, puke, or destroy yourself anywhere in public and we will all just eat it up, (figuratively speaking) ’cause our lives are that empty…

    Perhaps La Beet should name hotels and give hotel room numbers after she goes so we can be sure not to rent a room behind her un house broken little Toto…. I was the bell hop that had to clean up after you……..

    (NOT)

  • Jay-Z singing ‘Wonderwall’ sounds like one of those overly drunk, out of tune karaoke wankers. I get what he was doing, and it’s a better retort than getting all bitchy, but if I were at Glastonbury and heard him wobbling through the lyrics, I would have been PISSED that I spent money to see what I could have seen for free at a bar. Thank god he stopped the song from continuing and just went into his own stuff.

  • didn’t the fan grab her tits? she was probably shocked and surprised she could actually feel someone grabbing them….

    Jay-Z i think took the time to NOT know the words to the song. by knowing all the words it would show he paid attention to anything Gallagher said.

    and Leo is the embodiment of cute. you know how communion is supposed to be the body and blood of jesus? yea, leo is the physical form of cute.

  • amy winehouse needs to either get into rehab for real or stop trying to “sing” in public. and beet? leo is indeed adorable but NOT the cutest dog in the world….that title already belongs to my dog, eva, a mastiff-rottweiler mix with a wrinkly forehead and a gigantic butt!!

  • ways to make La Wino beautiful: straightjacket + duct tape over mouth. Better performance as well. In fact…just substitute her with Leo. Now that would be a show I’d pay to watch!

  • lmao @ Amy….. she’s so fucking stupid and drunk she couldn’t even stand on her feet.. i feel sorry for her..

    Jay z.. well… i don’t really like him to begin with.. but i think if he was planning on doing the song, he could have at least read the lyrics before going up on stage.. he didn’t even know the lyrics or anything.. i thought it was crappy.. the gallaghers must be very very pissed.. i would if i was them…

    and awwwww @ Leo, i just love everything he do!!