Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Bill Murray Loses Out in Divorce Settlement

So Bill Murray totally got ass-raped in his divorce from his wife, Jennifer Butler Murray.

I’ll pause here while you all hurry to the comment section to remind me that rape jokes are not funny. See, I think a rape joke delivered by, say, Mike Tyson, is not funny. Well, perhaps funny in the awkward silence that would inevitably follow, while you’re all looking at each other like, “Did Mike Tyson just make a rape joke? If we laugh, does that make us horrible people? If we don’t laugh, will he rape us?” But I think a rape joke delivered properly by me can, in fact, be funny, and furthermore works toward a longer-term goal of making rape a less taboo subject and therefore encouraging women to speak openly and honestly about it to their friends, their family, and the police. But I digress.

Once you’re done, you can come back here and read about how his wife walked away with primary custody of all four of their children and two of their houses. Plus Bill gets to pay his wife a lump sum of $7M, as per their pre-nup.

This is nothing compared to what Madonna will soon be shelling out to Guy Ritchie.

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Apparently I’m as evil as you, Beet, because I thought that line about him getting ass raped was funny as hell!

  • I believe she only got one extra house out of the whole deal. Their prenuptial agreement specified that in the event of a divorce, Bill Murray had to purchase a home in South Carolina for his wife, as well as pay her $7 million dollars. Not sure if any future children were mentioned in the prenup.

  • “Did Mike Tyson just make a rape joke? If we laugh, does that make us horrible people? If we don’t laugh, will he rape us?”

    Oh shit … this made me laugh so much …

  • I thought it was funny when you said it.
    But, if I were to say no one would laugh HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
    (hence my nom de plume)

  • making rape into a joke encourages women (and men) to talk about it????!!!! what kind of a theory is that? it’s not funny to use it as a joke, it’s just not. it’s not clever or witty at all. the only reason people laugh it because it’s shocking – or rather, it used to be. now it’s just used in bad taste.

  • Oh shut up. It totally is funny. Especially because it’s ass-raped. Saying he was vagina raped would probably be a little odd.

  • Yeah. You know what else is funny? The image of Michael Vick getting REAMED up the anus in prison by a dog-loving thug. AAAAHH HA HA HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @right: It’s a pretty good theory. Remember George Carlin? He joked about controversial topics and brought awareness to taboo subjects. So have plenty of other comedians.

    If you don’t think Beet talking about rape and swearing and shit is awesome, you should probably not be reading her gossip blog.

    Anyway, I don’t see how this constitutes getting raped if Murray had a pre-nup. He knew exactly what he was getting in for, yeah? She got custody, but the only weird thing there is the accusations of drug abuse and regular old abuse…are they true or were they to get the kids or a better deal?

  • Trust me on this one, Beet. Using the term ‘rape’ in a humerous attempt does not encourage one to talk openly about said topic. What it does is use the term in a mocking context…thus further attributing to the victim’s need to report such act, yet feeling victimized – not only by the perpetrator, but also by an ignorant society. The mere use of the term conotates a horrendous situation. So your theory that by using the term in humerous context helps to bring the subject out in the open is errorneous. Off all of the words in the English language, there are others which are less horrific, offensive and insensitve – yet make the point just as well.

  • I think most people don’t give a shit until a negative word touches their life in some way. “I’m gonna rape this test and eat it’s babies.” “This is so gay.” And so forth.

    Is it morally correct? Nah.

  • I’m getting a bit annoyed with all the dating site spammers on here.

    Oh yeah, cheesy joke alert: Looks like Bill Murray really got Scrooged this time!

    No whining, I warned you :D

    Ooo! Ass-Scrooged, even! haha