Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Putting on a Brave Face

Despite the fact that the former love of her life is currently facing life in prison, and an InStyle issue on how much she loves him hits stands next week, Anne Hathaway is all half-smiles at the Mexico City premiere of Super Agente 86 (aka Get Smart).

Spanish titles of American films always crack me up. I remember in high-school Spanish class we’d always laugh when our teacher told us about them. I seem to recall that the Spanish title of A Walk in the Clouds translated roughly to Put Out or Ship Out. Maybe I’m making that up. My all-time favorite is the Will Smith opus Yo, Robot.

The other thing I remember about high-school Spanish was that one of the vocabulary words in our book was the Spanish word for Abominable Snowman (“El Yeti”). I threw a fit. I was like “Seriously? This is what we’re learning about today? You can’t possibly think of anything more useful to occupy this particular space in our brains? This is very sad, people. A true scholastic tragedy.” I was not always especially well-liked by my high-school teachers. It was all that expressing of opinions that I did.

But then one day my Spanish teacher, Mr. Nunez, accidentally locked himself in his office, and it took the school the better part of the afternoon to get him out. And during the same afternoon one of the senior boys, Mike Klauss, was stuck in the principal’s office while they decided how to best discipline him for inviting the entirety of the freshman class to an thinly veiled sex-and-alcohol party. The fliers distributed to the freshman class called it a “Freshman/Senior Mixer.” The fliers distributed to the senior class called it “Meet the Fresh Meat.” Anyway my boyfriend at the time decided to plaster the walls of the school with signs he’d printed out in the computer lab that said “FREE NUNEZ/KLAUSS ’98!!!” and it was pretty much the funniest thing ever.

What was the point of this story?

Oh, right. So after that Mr. Nunez couldn’t really get upset with any of us for anything. If he started to lecture us about our behavior, we were just like, “Hey, Senor Nunez, remember that time you locked yourself in your office and you were stuck there for like four hours?” and that would shut him up real quick. I loved Senor Nunez.

And Mike Klauss got suspended for two days and later ended up having sex with several freshmen girls anyway.

And, while we’re at it, is that a fucking capelet, Anne?

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • LMAO!!!!
    Oh beet,
    when I think I might just read the funniest blog yet….
    U do it again….
    But I must say, about the Spanish titles, its all true, they always come up with some twisted/not so good translation titles.. lol

  • When I imagine your high school days I think of Clueless and it just makes me jealous. We didn’t have sex with the senior boys when I was a freshman grumblegrumble.

  • Sorry, but A Walk in the Clouds in Spanish Spanish (I mean in Spain) is called Un paseo por las nuble, literally, A Walk in the Clouds. ¡And poor Señor Núñez!

  • Oh gosh… how do I say this without appearing superior…. but you lead with a photo of Ann H. and mention her BF looking at life in prison… and never mention his name.. then go on about your high school Spanish class… a funny story to be sure… but can I ask you… do you remember anything about your Journalism class?

    I suppose this is your thing and you can go over the falls in a barrel if you want.

    … how is little Leo doing… you haven’t bored us with that lately… or perhaps I am out there enjoying summer too much…. Just remember criticism makes us better at what we do……. love and kisses

  • i swear…. i never leave comments but this right here had me cracking up! im from san antonio & i remembered that abonminable snowman mess in MY spanish class…classic memories. i love this damn blog. u are funny as shit…