The Dancing with the Stars champ’s self-titled debut album entered the Billboard Top Country Albums Chart at #1 and the Top 200 Albums at #3 this week.

Top that, Jessica Simpson!

Nearly a year and a half after adoption proceedings began, a judge in Malawi gave Madonna final approval to officially adopt little David Banda.

OMG, you guys, this totally reminded me of a dream I had last night that I’d completely forgotten. Madonna had died! And they thought it had something to do with food poisoning but no one was sure. And so all of a sudden Perez Hilton and I were on this TV show hosted by Joy Behar, of all people, and they stuck in front of us all the scientific data they’d collected about Madonna’s death, and we were supposed to figure out exactly how she’d died. And it was live! And I was trying to sort through all this data, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how sad this was for those kids. Dreams are so weird.

Samantha Ronson was at the Sex and the City after party last night, but apparently after that finished up she and Lindsay headed over to the apartment of … Drea de Matteo?

Go figure.

When they left, Lindsay took a new and fascinating approach to hiding her face from the paps.

Cool shoes, though.

Once upon a time, in the innocent years before Britney and Lindsay and Paris, Cindy Margolis was the most searched-for name on the Internet. The queen of soft-core Internet porn has since grown up a little — she married nightclub owner Guy Starkman nine years ago, and the couple have two young children. Unfortunately, they no longer have a marriage. Cindy confirmed that the couple have split.

“The end of any marriage is very sad. However, I feel blessed that Guy and I remain very close, we are truly the best of friends and the most devoted parents,” said Cindy in a statement.

But she’ll have no trouble finding new suitors — Cindy will appear on an upcoming cover of Playboy, at the age of 42.

Click here to listen to the first single off Jessica Simpson’s upcoming country album.

It’s called “Come on Over,” and it’s not half bad for a country tune.

Eh, I really want to see Jessica succeed. She’s been through so much. She deserves a fucking break.

Although the star was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer earlier this year, he reports that he’s doing well under the circumstances.

Says Patrick: “I am continuing treatment at Stanford [University Medical Center] and the great news is I continue to respond well.”

All our thoughts are with you, Patrick.

Note: This is an old picture of Patrick, from 2007. The new ones make me sad.