Today's Evil Beet Gossip

It’s On Like Donkey Kong!

Check out these pics InTouch snapped of Jen and John getting all lovey-dovey in Miami this weekend.

What is that thing on the wall in front of them?

I bet it’s a mirror, so they can admire themselves as they canoodle and be like, “Damn, we’re so hot.”

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  • This reminds me of when I went through a phase where I dated every ‘different type’ of guy I could get my hands on. I was sure I just hadn’t found the right kind. Turns out I was wayyyy to needy back then. I have a feeling this is a similar issue.

  • I don’t know what it is about him, but he seems like he’d be a hellcat in the sack, too. Plus he’s a musician. And he sang “Your Body is a Wonderland”. It all equates AWESOME bonage.

  • Interesting couple. Uh, I think it’s one of those sun-reflecting tray thingies that tanners (No, not the Full House family.) use when utilizing the actual sun for tanning purposes. Either that or it’s some kind of cool poolside LCD TV. I’m going with the former.

    Ah, my first look at John Mayer’s new full sleeve of tattoos.

  • I think its a mini cell tower… or it might be solar light panel…. hummm I’ll have to ponder this over….

    Frankly I think she looks great, a lot better than the Kinda Sorta Maybe Mrs. Brad Pitt ll

  • Ah, Beet! You are so damn funny! I adore your writing. “It’s On Like Donkey Kong”. I haven’t heard that phrase in, like, forever. Now I want to use it all the time. I will find ways to work it into conversations asap.

  • This is very strange. Her boobage isn’t anywhere near his norm. Think about it-the very petite, size 2 Jennifer Love Hewitt and her ginormous rack and Jessica Simpson and her hooter-tastic self. Strange pair indeed.

  • What the F is wrong with her? Did her break-up with Brad damage her so badly that her judgement is now impaired when it comes to men? Wish he would wear that green Borat suit for HER. He is such a tool. Jesus, next Jennifer will be dating Spencer Pratt when Heidi-Ho finally dumps him.

  • I not sure, but, he seems a little soft and girly to me. Maybe, Jennifer is considering going lesbian, but, wants to ease into it gradually and doesn’t want t give up cock completely. I’m still waiting for a sex tape some day showing jen’s bare ass bouncing up and down on someone’ s bed while while she squeals, “I’m cumming, I’m cumming!!!”

  • He could do so much better. What does that boobless whiner have that makes Brad Pitt and John Mayer want her?

  • “He could do so much better. What does that boobless whiner have that makes Brad Pitt and John Mayer want her?”

    even in that 3rd picture you can tell that she’s just whining to him.