Today's Evil Beet Gossip

David Hasselhoff Sure Does Know How to Have Fun in “Sobriety”

Heh heh heh heeeeeeeeee!

I’m four months sober!

I’m going to Coachella, baby!!! Because that is where the real recovery is.

Jesus.

David “I Have No Fucking Business Being at Coachella” Hasselhoff hit up Coachella this weekend, where he managed to find two girls about his daughter’s age to run around with. He’s also sporting a little bruise under his eye and a gigantic bruise on his arm.

Yeah, dude. I can’t for the life of me figure out why you have trouble staying clean.

21 CommentsLeave a comment

  • That’s the singer/harpist from America’s Got Talent and her sister.

    From what I remember they don’t drink, smoke or do drugs.

    One’s a lawyer and the other is a nurse…not bad company if you
    can get it.

  • DEAR DAVID HASSELHOFF IWOULD LIKE TO INVITED YOU DAVID HASSELHOFF IN TO MY ART ROOM AND DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE CAN YOU GET A FLIGHT OUT OF LOS LANGLES RIGHT NOW IWOULD LIKE HELP WITH MY ART WORK IN MY ART ROOM PLEASE COME IN YOUR BLACK CAR

  • DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE CAN YOU GET A FLIGHT OUT OF LOSLANGLES
    RIGHT NOW DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF COME AND SEE ME ON FIR 11SEPT DAVID HASSELHOFF HOW DO YOU FANCY GOING OUT WITH ME FRI MORINING THE HOFF IN BRIGHTON SHOPPING CENTRE AND WE CAN STAY IN BRIGHTON AND DAVID HASSELHOFF IWOULD LIKE TO STAY IN BRIGHTON WITH YOU THE HOFF IKNOW BRIGHTON VERY WELL SO CAN STAY IN BRIGHTON FOR THE MORINING AND AFTER NOON AND EVING WITH THE HOFF PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF CAN YOU GET A FLIGHT OUT LOSLANGLES TO THE UK

  • DAVID HASSELHOFF YOU ARE A LOVEY LOVING GUY PLEASE COME SEE YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND AND COME IN MY ART ROOM AND KISS ME AND FULL IN LOVE WITH ME AND WE CAN END UP IN BED HAVIING SEX TO GETHER TO NIGHT PLEASE TAKE YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND LISAJANE TO THE RANGE TO BUY SOME BIRTHDAY THINGS THE HOFF YOU FOR GOT MY BIRTHDAY PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF COME TO OUR PLACE AND ASK MY MUM CAN YOU TAKE ME AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND AND WE CAN GET MARRYED PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF COME IN YOUR BLACK CAR PLEASECOME RIGHTNOW

  • dear david hasselhoff please can lisajane invite you to come have fun in lisajane artroom and david hasselhoff lisajane want to be with you david hasselhoff iloveyou so much in the world please david hasselhoff come and fall in love with me david hasselhoff
    how do you fancy going away for the weekend with lisajane and how do you fancy getting marryed fri night in our hotel room and we can go to iceland for our privet wedding party food 2 cakes two bootles diet lonade two chesecake and we can get twohawila pizza from pizzahut and we can go back to our hotel and wecan get marryed

  • david hasselhoff ihave got some newartwork for you to try out in lisajane artroom and david hasselhoff you arewelcome to sleep in my room with lisajane david hasselhoff please can invite you to come to crealey shopping centre and we can have a lookround the shop and david hasselhoff they do your intalin coffee cappunico coast and we can get some lunch from greds and we can seat on the seats have lunch as two lovers please come to night david hasselhoff lovefrom your girlfriend

  • david hasselhoff pleasecome to sueplace and you can do some linedancing with your newgirlfriend lisajane david hasselhoff how do you fancy spending the weekend with lisajane and how do you fancy having our deate this friday morlining in worthing and ask mum can you take lisajane away for the weekend in worthing hotel

  • lisajane would like to see davidhasselhoff ?
    lisa jane would like to invite david hasselhoff
    in to her art room
    lisajane ask david hasselhoff would he like a hot cup of coffee
    and a cholate toast sandwatch for david hasselhoff tea
    and david hasselhoff would you like watching homeand away with lisajane and david hasselhoff after tea wecan do lots mor art work in lisajane artroom and davd hasselhoff pleasestay thenight in lisajaneroom