Today's Evil Beet Gossip

More of This ScoJo Mess

For those of you who are willing to exist in the same reality where Scarlett Johansson records an entire album of Tom Waits covers, we now have six of the album’s tracks streaming. Listen to them here.

The full album drops May 20, on which date President Bush will release his book of fart jokes, Paula Abdul will move into her position as the U.S. Drug Czar, Mary-Kate Olsen will defend her PhD thesis in comparative literature (full title: “Ethical and Aesthetic Elements in Sartre’s Roads to Freedom Vol. I Age of Reason and the Influence of Hemingway on this Novel”) and a young chimpanzee trained by Dakota and Elle Fanning will win the National Spelling Bee.

Me? I’ll be hiding in a storm shelter somewhere, waiting for the reality I know and love to return.

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • as a tom waits fan, and a scarlett j fan, i gotta say: I really really like this! i mean, i’m sitting by my sunny window in northern scandinavia and it makes me think there are a few good things that come from home. i love how deep her voice is when she sings… girl is working what she’s got.
    which i guess she does anyways.

  • Tom Waits is WHACK. WTF? ScarJo is an official hipster douche, and Natalie Portman is now my favorite yenta actress.

  • I just don’t know what to say- I am in shock at how horrible her voice is. She makes Blowie Latanzzi sound down right professional. Is this all a joke? I am confused.

  • Maybe she will get a cult following, like that kid on YouTube that sings “Chocolate Rain.” It could happen – heh heh.

  • yeah this has gotta be some kind of joke. like she’ll just pop up in a couple of days and yell “just kidding!!”

  • I just didnt think the title of her album was long enough…How about this ..”i need more attention,and sing crap no one wants to hear,becuase it makes me look smart,and if you dont get Tom Waits your stupid., Roads from Darfur Vol. 1″

  • I hate this cunt so much, and I’m so glad her music sucks as much as I originally anticipated. I’m sure than any disdain tossed her way via negative reviews will only fuel her hipster malaise. And vanity. This chick fucking LOVES the shit that emerges from her own ass.