Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I’m At Work!

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Most people think of working from home as living the dream. And this may be true, if you have small children, or an ailing parent, or a porn addiction. I have none of those things, and have been blogging full-time, from home, for coming up on a year now.

It kind of makes you crazy, slowly but surely. You miss going to meetings. Yes, meetings. The concept of a group of people sitting around a conference table, listening to themselves talk while ignoring all other viewpoints, over the faint buzzing of the PowerPoint projector. You miss figuring out each morning who has free chocolate at their desk. You miss office gossip. You miss making fun of the nerdy girl who wears a fanny pack to work each day and once wore striped pants with a polka-dot sweater. You miss trying to figure out which admin is sleeping with which VP, and who ratted out your coworker for charging overtime he wasn’t working. You miss feeling sad for the middle-aged recently divorced dude who comes in drunk every day with vodka in his coffee mug. You miss performance reviews; any sort of structured, personalized feedback on how well you’re doing your job. Because, in any given post, some of you are going to disagree, some of you are going to agree, some of you are going to post your phone number for Miley Cyrus, and the rest of you are going to plug InterracialMatch.com. There’s no objective feedback. You have your readership numbers, but it’s hard to cull from that any structured sense of what you’re doing right and what you could do better.

It just gets frustrating, and you go in circles in your head, and you get lonely, and it gets unpleasant.

Anyway.

As most of you have probably noticed by the URL, my website’s a part of Film.com, which is a part of RealNetworks, which is based in Seattle, which is where I’m currently and unexpectedly living.

So when my boss was like, “You know, if you actually want to come into our offices to blog during the day, I’m sure we could get you some space,” my response was, “You know, I’m actually going to take you up on that.”

So, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in nearly a year, I am at work. And I am neither naked, smoking a cigarette, wearing pajamas nor sprawled on my living room couch. I am in an office. I got lunch at the cafeteria. This morning, I was in a meeting!!!! With a bunch of PR people who are trying to promote my website. And they’re like, “What do you have planned for the next quarter?” because they’re all business-style and smart and important and I’m like, “Uh, that kind of depends on Paris Hilton, doesn’t it?” And they kind of laughed and kind of looked at me like I might be mildly retarded, and it occurred to me that I probably need a little more practice before I’m good to go in this whole “work” situation again.

But I’m so excited to be here!!!

And for those of you who are stuck in an office job that you absolutely hate, just remember: I used to be stuck in an office job that I absolutely hated, too. But I definitely didn’t appreciate all the joys of working in an office. I took them all for granted, until they were all gone. And now I’m absolutely delighted to be in an office!

P.S. The picture above is neither of me nor my fellow office-workers. I just found it online and thought it was hilarious.

24 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I am glad you are working out of the confinement of home
    home is nice when you have it to return from something else
    it’s like a holiday
    I like to be alone,I don’t mind it
    but too much is too much
    boring is boring
    and these people in the pic look blissful
    even if they are faking it
    as we do, many a time

  • Congrats. I give you about a week before you realize that blatant nose picking, audible farting and etc. are things you may have come to take for granted. And other people suck.

  • Beet,

    I hear you, girl. I work alone in an office while my bosses travel 98% of the time to other states. I miss coworkers and gossip and even office drama. Other people think I have it made, having no one to irritate me or having to or not having to pick up the slack for other people. But I miss it, strangely. Mostly because I’m new to AZ and have had to find other ways to meet people. It’s also nice to have somebody around to talk shop with. I go home and want to vent but there is nobody who really understands. Blah blah blah. Whine whine whine. It’s not a bad job. I just miss interacting with people.

    I hope you love your new city. I am from WA and love Seattle so much. I wish you the best of luck!

  • i’d also like to mention another woman who works for my company and works from home. she says she doesnt even shower or change out of her PJs all day, until two minutes before her husband gets home. she has gotten lazy and intolerant of other people.

    so yeah :) we hear ya.

  • I understand, Beet. I was laid off 9 months ago, and I am itching to go back to work to feel engaged in a business like fashion again. Additionally, I miss all of the side perks you metioned above.

    I MISS THE OFFICE. I MISS ALL THE A$$HOLES U SEE EVERYDAY AT WORK. Never really appreciated the distinction/happiness in “coming home” vs “being at home” all day, from this perspective.

  • PS. During this period, I have developed a rabid addiction and deep affection for Judge Judy. I just love that gal. I DVR the shows (2 episodes on back to back in my viewing area) and delight in watching them. So, yea, I am now a huge Judge Judith Sheindlin fan. UMMM IS NOT AN ANSWER!!!!

  • Great, this place will turn into a spam filled advertising nightmare. Looking forward to the full website “skins” advertising crap.

  • Sure, you’re happy now. That’ll last about a month. Then you’ll be wishing you were back at “home”. Enjoy.

  • Hey Beet–I feel better about my office already. And do tell the Promo folks that we love Evil Beet because of you and your very funny insghts and comments and personal touch (some of which I look at in MY office!)

  • I totally know what you mean. I am a realtor and for the past year, I was working from home because my office kept moving to smaller and smaller locations. It got to the point where desks were at a first come first serve basis. While I am lucky enough to have a full office at home (my husband is a mortgage broker, therefore works 24 hours a day and needs a full office at home), I really did miss going to an office to work. I have a 3 year old daughter who demands attention 24 hours a day. I really could not focus. Therefore, I would give in to her. I am now totally addicted to SpongeBob Square Pants. I, too, did not change out of my pj’s until my husband came home. But things are looking up. I put my daughter in pre-school which is the greatest place in the world because someone else can put up with her constant bossing 2 days a week. I have since changed companies and am totally happy because I have my own sad little cubicle and am in the office 4 days a week. I am in heaven. I get to hear all of the gossip between the putty grey walls, smell the bad coffee brewing and hear random cuss words from the other pissed off realtors. I never thought that I would be happy in an office, but I am. Good luck to you, Beet!

  • Here’s your performance review.

    I’m one of those anonymous readership numbers that shows up every day. I think you are doing a great job. I especially love the personal little stories you throw in. You come across as real and with realistic values. Keep on doing what you’re doing!

    :)

  • I’d give up chocolate cake for life to be back in an office .. where people actually thank you for your efforts. Where I never again had to stop what I’m doing to get my perfectly capable, yet totally fucking retarded .. er I mean R-E-T-I-R-E-D husband another goddamned cream cheese sandwich on wheat bread and then have to summon all the restraint humaly possible to stop myself from suffocating him with it … … Wait .. did I say that out loud .. nevermind.. .. AnYhOo ..
    I apologize for my ignorance but I seriously assumed blogs like Beet and D-Listed really truly were little deals with one clever, funny person .. hEy! I wanna job writing a blog .. I’m funny too .. I’M FUCKING FUNNY TOO!!

  • It might be fun to go work in an office environment if it was entirely optional. No set hours, no mandatory work day. Sounds like the best of both worlds…

  • I’ve been working from home the past couple of years. (Software testing.) There are times I miss the office and the people and the cafeteria and leaving the house. But I don’t miss the 300 miles a week of driving and the getting up way early and I can’t be bothered to give a crap about the office when I get to sit on my porch in my hammock chair with my laptop and work and watch my garden all day. Ain’t giving that up. :)

  • i don’t miss the back-stabbing, idea stealing, ass-kissing sycophants that i worked with in a *cough* corporate environment. my worst day of scraping peacock shit off my front porch is still better than my best day at work, and i was a cube dweller for 20 years.

  • Beet – the more you do these personal stories, the more I adore you!

    It’s good for our self esteem to get out into the world and mingle with the other workers – sitting at home all day really drains you! The only thing that sucks about being in the office (other than that ONE person that makes you want to jump out the window because they are so hideously annoying) is that you have to walk a mile to have a Marlboro… (I don’t smoke Camels)

    And now, if you have some really fab new shoes you’ve been dying to wear, you may have someone tell you “Oh ,CUTE shoes!!!” You can’t get that kind of affirmation at home with the TV. :)

  • Thanks for this! I’ve been doing this full-time blogging thing since November, and I definitely know what you mean! At first it was like, hooray! I can work all day in my PJs and drink beer and smoke whenever I want! And hey, there’s no D-bags starting rumors about me because I said hey to their geriatric boyfriend so that OBVIOUSLY means I want to sleep with him! Then suddenly I was like, hey, why am I fat now? And horribly pale? And why can’t I ever sleep at a decent hour? It definitely takes its toll on you after awhile! I finally had to tell myself that I have to treat this like a job like everything else, so now I get up, cook breakfast, shower, dress up like I’m going somewhere, and try my best to stick to work like there’s a boss breathing down my back. “Try” being the optimal word there! :) Coffee and cigarettes are still a must though, because if I have to look at Heidi Montag’s fug face without some kind of vice it won’t be very pleasant for anyone.

    Jebbica from Backseat Cuddler

  • Darn. I look forward to retirement every day. Every day. And now I think a couple of you might have ruined it for me. I’ll be afraid to take the plunge. I will make sandwiches for my hubby if I feel like it, but he’ll never know when that will be. Gotta keep him fine-tuned.

  • I AM SO HAPPY!!!! I Got a Great job offer today!!!! From the company I had my heart set on. YIPPEE I have spent 9 months in laid off limbo, and I’m very happy, and I’m On My Way Back Into An office and all that comes with it. Woo Hoo

  • Thank god other people dread working from home. My friends/coworkers think I’m f-ing crazy when I say it’s a mixed blessing, and I thought I was putting it nicely. I adore my new husband despite the fact that I am now in fact Mrs. Robinson and completely isolated from everyone I love and hate. Who knew I’d actually miss my office…

  • No way Jose! I hate the office and I would love working from home. The important part to this story isn’t the location it’s the JOB. You are doing something fun and something you don’t dread doing. And now you have the choice to either come in or stay home with no reprecutions either way. THAT is what is so awesome about your situation. I’m 100% completly jealous!

  • Here’s some structured feedback: I was in that PR meeting so now I have to read your blog. I’m tired of laughing out loud when I read it. It’s unprofessional and adds to the growing sense on my staff that I don’t actually do work. Afterall, I’m in PR so I need to look important, not like, well, some guy sitting in an office laughing his ass off all damn day. Get a job.