Model Selita Ebanks celebrated her 25th birthday at Marquee last night, in the company of — who else? — Eva Amurri and Lydia Hearst.

Go figure.

And it is out of that love that I feel obliged to mention that she needs a new stylist, or at least a new personal assistant. I have not been impressed with her fashion choices lately, and now she shows up with this terribly wrinkled dress.

These tragedies are so, so avoidable, Alicia.

At the Gen Art Film Festival launch party in NYC.

Legendary actress Angela Lansbury made an appearance at the Broadway opening of Gypsy.

Also there: Lauren Bacall, who is just way fucking scary right now. I’m sure she’s a very nice person, but, Jesus, Lauren, there’s a time and a place for a low-cut V-neck and, for you, that time was at some point during the early years of Prohibition.

As if all the press surrounding the recent leak of her nude photo shoot weren’t enough, Audrina Patridge decided she wanted even more ink.

The Hills starlet hit up a Hollywood tattoo parlor today to get some nonsense tattooed on her arm.

Can someone please explain to me the value of getting tattoos in Chinese when you, personally, do not speak Chinese? I never understood why people do that. Why would you want something tattooed on your body that you can’t understand and that represents absolutely nothing about you? I understand doing this if you are, ya know, Chinese, or even if you speak and write the language, but what does a white girl from SoCal need fucking Chinese written on her arm for? And why Chinese, people? Because it looks flowing and mysterious? Why not, I dunno, Braille? Or Ethiopian? It’s equally relevant.

However: none of this is as bad as the guy I met in San Diego who had a Latin phrase misspelled across his chest.

Anyway, does anyone know what this actually says? And if not, can you please take some time out of your day to say a little prayer that it actually means something related to performing fellatio on a barn animal? Because nothing would please me more.

Lindsay’s kid sis is starting to look quite a bit like the younger Simpson gal, IMHO.

And now everyone’s reporting she’s had plastic surgery at the ripe old age of 14.

I call bullshit. She’s had her lips plumped a bit, and she’s wearing blue contacts now, and hair and eyelash extensions, but the rest is just make-up. She’s undergone nothing that requires a general anesthetic, Ashlee-style. The bone structure is all the same.

But it’s weird how much she looks like Ashlee Simpson now.

Heh.

More here.