Okay. So.

A couple months ago I met a girl who shall remain nameless. Without divulging too many details, I’ll say that she is very close with the Gibson family, and she was also a very good friend to me at a time in my life when I needed a very good friend.

She took issue with what I did for a living, and begged me not to talk shit about the Gibsons in the future. I agreed. And now I’m kicking myself for it, because there are so many funny and rude things to say about this shit that I now cannot say.

I hope you guys will pick up the slack in the comments section.

Halle Berry gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Sunday.

No word on the name yet.

Any guesses?

Heidi had an opportunity to talk to Us Weekly about the new fashion line she’s designing, but opted to use the time instead to bash Lauren Conrad.

“Lauren’s line is not necessarily something I would wear,” she says. “She’s trying a high-fashion thing, but it’s a little overpriced. Mine is fun and flirty for the everyday woman. Most people can’t afford $200 for one dress … When we were in school, I was the designer, and she was in, like, product development.”

When you were in school?

Heidi, you were at FIDM for, like, all of two weeks. You didn’t even make it through one semester before you quit to answer phones for Brent Bolthouse. So let’s not go bragging about that focused design education you received, okay, dear?

Also: shut the fuck up, Heidi.

These ladies look like they’re gonna bite!

A pregnant Lisa Marie Presley and her mother Priscilla Presley glare at the cameras at the Elvis 68 Comeback Special in Hollywood.

Okay.

Honestly? When I saw the thumbnail of this pic, I thought Priscilla was Riley Keough. She looks about 17 years old. Priscilla is actually 62 years old. I need the phone number of that woman’s plastic surgeon.

Knowing her frenemy Nicole Richie would be sporting her huge post-pregnancy tits at the DCMA store opening in LA, Paris Hilton broke out her Super Ultra Power Bra to attend the same event.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH ha ha ha ha ha.

What a fucking bitch.

Here’s a post-pregnancy Nicole Richie at the DCMA store opening in LA.

She looks much older. And tired. I guess a baby will do that.