Oh, I love shit like this.

Joe Francis was prepared to offer Ashley Dupre a cool million to appear in his GGW DVDs, but then he discovered that she’d already gotten naked for him — back when she was 18!!!

“It’ll save me a million bucks,” he said. “It’s kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch.”

Francis said at that point, his offer was off the table: “We actually had been dealing with her rep,” he said. “Our (offer) was the real deal. We just never made the connection.”

Yeah, I call bullshit. Joe already knew he had the footage. The $1M offer was just a publicity ploy for said footage, which is now available on his website, which I refuse to link to here.

Oh, Joe, you’ve been out of jail less than a week and you’re already making me nauseous.

So the photo agency’s all excited about these new! Photos! Of Jennifer! Aniston!

And I’m like “Really?”

She’s not naked or anything. She’s on the set of her new movie, Marley & Me, with Owen Wilson.

I mean, she’s a busy actress still, so she must be a box office draw, but does anyone really care about Jennifer Aniston these days?

I’m asking. Let me know.

Hide your face all you want.

We know it’s you.

And we see that baby bump, baby!!!!

Well, his career is certainly up shit’s creek.

Heh heh. I ran this photo just so I could say that.

Here’s James Van Der Beek doing something boring in Los Angeles.

What happened to this kid? The boys in that series didn’t really fare well, did they? Katie Holmes went on to marry Tom Cruise. Michelle Williams went on to star in an Oscar-award-winning film. But Josh Jackson? And Dawson? They just kind of went away.

What do you guys figure is in his hands? I’ve included a close-up in the thumbnail so you can guess away. Because I know how much you care.

Kristin Davis’s rep went on the record all like “this is not a photo of Kristin Davis. There is no sex tape.”

And maybe there is no sex tape, but I’m starting to think it’s more and more likely that these are, indeed, photos of Kristin Davis.

If you missed the photos, they’re here and here.

You know Sarah Jessica Parker is pissed. The SaTC movie is coming out in two months, and this shit was supposed to be about her, dammit!

At least with the folks at the Burbank courthouse.

Shia was busted for smoking illegally outside some stupid gift shop in Burbank. His arraignment was today at 8 am, but Shia was a no-show. His lawyer didn’t show up either.

The judge issued a $1000 bench warrant for his arrest. His current whereabouts are unknown, but I’m sure that, wherever he is, he’s laughing his ass off about this, like he probably was with the ticket earlier.

Like, seriously, smoking is bad, kids, but I think it’s total bullshit that people aren’t allowed to smoke on the fucking streets anymore. I understand banning it from restaurants, or even from bars, but on the street? Like I love how every time I’m walking down the Santa Monica Promenade smoking a cigarette some kind pedestrian stops to remind me that you’re not allowed to smoke on the Promenade. And I’m always like “Oh, yes, I’ll take that under serious consideration” as I puff away. If anyone ever tried to ticket my ass for smoking on the Promenade I think I’d be like “Take this ticket and shove it,” much like Shia did. Fuck, dude, I don’t even pay my speeding tickets; you think I have time to deal with smoking tickets?

No hard feelings about this one, buddy.