Any celeb willing to call Paris Hilton a “pathological liar” during an interview deserves our love and admiration. Even if he is a nutjob.

Jailbait Miley Cyrus cuddles up to 34-year-old womanizer Mario Lopez at a taping of America’s Best Dance Crew on the Sony lot.

Run, Miley! Run as fast as your inappropriately dressed legs can take you!

From the New York Post’s Cindy Adams:

Boozing backstage during the Oscarcast is a no-no. But if you’re pregnant Nicole Kidman it’s a yes-yes. She wanted white wine. She got it.

I have a really hard time believing this is true, especially since Nicole has wanted to get pregnant for so long, and hubby Keith Urban has struggled with alcoholism forever, but, man, it’d be pretty damn gutsy of the Post to print something like this if they weren’t sure. Normally you run info like that as an obvious blind item; you don’t flatly call out a Hollywood A-lister on something like this.

In fairness, Ms. Adams never actually says Nicole drank the wine. It’s possible she was just using her star wattage to do a favor for the props guys. At least, that’s what the Post is going to say when Nicole’s lawyers call …

Who the fuck is Phoebe Price?

It is my whole fucking job to know who these people are, and I cannot for the life of me understand why people know or care about Phoebe Price. I’ve basically avoided writing about her in the past, but I think it’s time we got to the bottom of this. Who is she?

I’ve actually been at events with her. I’ve personally watched her whore it up on the red carpet and inside assorted parties, and I still have no idea who she is.

She’s not pretty.

She doesn’t have a famous family.

She doesn’t date a famous person.

She’s not on a TV show, nor has she ever had more than a minor role in a minor movie.

She’s never committed a serious crime or been involved in any scandal.

How did she become famous?

Anyway, here’s Phoebe, doing whatever it is she does on Robertson on Tuesday.

Britney Spears was spotted leaving the Levis store in LA today.

Her face is still peeling off, but at least it looks better than yesterday.

I guess 14-year-old Ali Lohan thinks she’s “making a name for herself.”

Which is totally true, if by “making a name for herself” she means “being Lindsay Lohan’s little sister.”

Ali’s being featured in the new issue of Teen Vogue — which you should buy only because Blake Lively’s on the cover — and boy does she have some disturbing things to say.

Here’s what she has to say about her impending doom fame:

I want it so bad. So bad you don’t even know. And now, it’s actually happening … I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.

Oh, I don’t even know where to start on this.

First, let’s discuss what’s “actually happening” for Ali right now. She’s co-starring in an upcoming reality TV show with her crazy-ass mother, which Lindsay Lohan is basically refusing to participate in, so the thing’s gonna crash and burn. She’s kinda-sorta thinking about releasing an album, which will fail if it ever gets made, and — to top it all off — she might audition for High School Musical 3! Jesus. Christ. You’ve just described the life of every 14-year-old in the greater Los Angeles area. Honestly, I think that’s how most agents are pitching themselves to the under-20 crowd these days. “I might be able to get you an audition for High School Musical 3!” Let’s just put Ali’s name on an Emmy right now.

And then let’s talk about this: “Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

Yes, exactly, Ali. What you need to start doing at this age is formulating a sense of self-worth based entirely on the misguided feelings of people who never have and never will meet you. At 14, it’s important to be viewed as larger-than-life — deified, almost — by total strangers. That way, when what you feel inside doesn’t even begin to compare with the image the public has created for you, you can have a total meltdown by age 17 and become a raging, self-destructive alcoholic. It’s all worked out so well for Lindsay. I can imagine why you’d want the same.

Take a hint from Jamie-Lynn, Ali — just get knocked up and move on with your life.