Today's Evil Beet Gossip

In Case You Missed It

Check out Janet Jackson performing “Feedback” on Good Morning America.

This is, like, the most boring song ever. The only good part comes at 2:30 when she sings the line “My swagger’s serious / I’m heavy like a first-day period.” Seriously, I will listen to this song over and over again just for that line. Will someone graduating high school this year please make that their senior yearbook quote? Please? For me? I totally would have done it for you. If I’d ever been a senior in high school. Which I wasn’t. Because I dropped out after sophomore year. And look at me now, motherfuckers!!! You all thought I’d end up flipping burgers, but instead I run a celebrity gossip blog whose primary source of traffic is people searching for “Lindsay Lohan naked” on Google Image search. So put that in your fancy high-school-graduate pipe and smoke it.

But I digress.

Also, I have to hand it to Janet: that outfit is a phenomenal I’m-hiding-the-weight-gain ensemble. Jessica Simpson’s stylists should take note.

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