Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Paris Hilton and Boyfriend Benji Madden, Pictures, Photos

Okay you know in that Tori Amos song Cornflake Girl where she’s all like “This is not really, this, this, this is not really happeniiiiiing. You bet your life it is!”

Okay every time I see a picture of Paris Hilton and new flame Benji Madden, that little verse goes through my head.

She is such an evil little bitch. (And my soon-to-be new best friend.)

First: Benji broke up with longtime girlfriend Sophie Monk, like, three minutes ago.

Secondly: Benji’s brother, Joel, just had a baby with her frenemy Nicole Richie.

So Paris puts two and two together and thinks: Publicity. Lots more publicity than she’s getting with Simon Rex.

Yeah, that door better be handicapped accessible, Paris. Mentally handicapped accessible.

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