… yet.

“We aren’t charging her with anything at this time,” the LAPD says. “She is at the (hospital) for her own health and welfare.”

They have to charge her with something. She kidnapped her child!

Legal eagles, weigh in!!!! What can Britney be charged with???

Look, guys, I found something on the Internets today that’s not about Britney!!!

A very pregnant Halle Berry rocks the string cheese in LA.

When I first saw this pic, I thought it was a tampon in her hand. But, no, it’s just string cheese.

Ooh, that could be kinky … or stinky. Can you imagine going to the hospital trying to explain why you’re emitting a strong odor because there’s a tiny bit of molding string cheese stuck in your vaginal cavity? I swear, every time I think of something weird and kinky that could be done in the bedroom, my next thought is always, “Well, what would the corresponding hospital visit look like?”

Why am I even talking about this? Back to Britney.

Life & Style is reporting that Britney was drug tested at the hospital, and the test came back negative.

“Her blood test just came back, and, thank God, it was clean. There are no traces of drugs or alcohol of any kind,” a source close to the Spears family said.

Okay, look, I’d almost feel a little comforted if she’d been high or drunk. Then we could be like, “Listen, let’s get this girl into a rehab, sober her ass up, and see if she can be a functional mother to her children.” But if she was already sober? What the fuck do you do??? She’s just fucking crazy. This is all fun and games until you realize that this is the only mother these children have. Then it’s just painfully sad. I always thought my mom was fucking crazy growing up, but now I’m like, “Hm, she never kidnapped me or had to be rushed to the hospital for total insanity. That was nice of her.” I guess I could have turned out much worse.

I guess Jamie-Lynn did make it to the hospital to hang with Brit, and now Access Hollywood is reporting that mom Lynne was basically freaking out on the phone.

She didn’t make much of a statement.

Lynn ‘was extremely distraught, crying on the phone and asking our staff, “Just say prayers.”’

If you guys have time in your prayer schedule, I guess you could pray for Britney, but, most of all, PRAY FOR THOSE KIDS!!!!

Okay, guys, I just took a little nap, and now appear to be able to sit upright again, so let’s keep going:

People’s managing editor is talking about why Jayden was taken to the hospital.

He says that in California there is a law stating that if there is an incident at a home involving children, they are required to go to a hospital and get checked for physical and mental issues. In this case, Jayden was cleared of both. Thank God!!!!

“When it was time for Jayden to go visit, get back in the car and go to his dad, Britney did not allow that. She locked herself in a room with Jayden, and that’s when the cops were called,” he told Access Hollywood. “They come in, they get through the door, and they strap Britney down on a gurney.”

The police had a difficult time removing Britney from the locked room, according to Castro. “It’s unclear whether they broke down the door or Britney let them in, but it took a long time for them to get through that door and when they finally got through they saw a disoriented Britney, who hadn’t slept for days, apparently hadn’t eaten for days, and that’s when they decided, ‘Let’s put her in a gurney, she’s under no condition to walk out of here on her own.‘”

Where was the court-appointed monitor during all of this? Wasn’t there some point prior to this where he/she should have been like, “Dude, Britney is more fucked up than usual. I need to get the kids out of here.”

Whatever she’s drinking, Lindsay Lohan seems as cool and centered as the freakin’ Dalai Lama compared to Britney’s recent antics.

In her first public appearance since she relapsed on New Years Eve, Lindsay was spotted shopping on the streets of Rome and drinking what may or may not be vodka (probably just water).

Who cares?

More Britney, please!