Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Wish It Were Jamie-Lynn-Spears-Is-Pregnant Day Again (Also: Wyclef Jean)

It’s a slow news day, you guys.

I’m bored.

Where are the Miley Cyrus naked photos when you really need them? (I know, I know, she’s underage … but I’ll conveniently forget as soon as those photos surface.)

Anyway, Wyclef Jean has a new album out, and I’ve been jamming to it for the better part of the week. There’s this song on it called “Sweetest Girl,” about some chick who was really smart and full of potential in high school and now is a hooker. It’s a pretty dope song, and I love that it references Wu Tang and “CREAM.” This one time, back in my past life when I was in business school, our corporate finance professor was trying to teach us the importance of your cash assets. He was this real young, hip, Irish guy — we used to drink rum & Coke in his class, just because we could — and he was like, “Can anyone tell me what CREAM means?” It stumped all of us — Cash Reserves for Equity And Materials? — except for this one quiet kid in the back who stuck his hand up and was like, “Cash Rules Everything Around Me! Wuuuuuuu-Tang!” We laughed for like ten minutes. In part because it was the funniest thing ever, and in part because we were all a little drunk.

The official video is below:

And here it is by the Chipmunks.

Seriously if nothing happens today, we’re just gonna be running videos all day. We’ll be like MTV in the ’80s. I can do this all day, people. I truly have nothing else to do today.

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