Today's Evil Beet Gossip

If At All Possible, I Would Like Beyonce Knowles to Give Birth for Me Whenever I Choose to Have a Kid

Beyonce Knowles Hips at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock

I mean, for reals, people, those are birthing hips. This is a woman who was made to accidentally pop out a kid while she’s taking a shit, pull the baby out of the toilet, wipe, and get on with her day. Like I’m pretty sure I could emerge, at age 25, from that woman’s uterus — while clutching my television set and, you know, my car — and we would both be in pretty good shape afterwards.

Jesus, those are hips.

Beyonce Knowles Hips at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock Beyonce Knowles Hips at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock Beyonce Knowles Hips at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock Beyonce Knowles Hips Green Dress at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock

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