I mean, the hat?

It’s not a cowboy hat.

It’s not even really a top hat.

What type of hat is it, then?

It is the wrong hat. It is the wrong hat, Chris.

With his wife at a screening of The Savages.

Meet Valentina Pinault, two months old.

I love this kid already.

Check out the expression on her face. She’s all like, “What’s up, motherfuckers? Ready for me to turn 18 or what?”

Love it love it love it.

Hulk Hogan’s wife Linda is asking for half their assets in the couple’s divorce.

Linda is seeking to split the couple’s assets, which include the 17,000-square-foot Bel Air mansion where the family primarily lives and a 3,474-square-foot home in Clearwater Beach, Fla., as well as a condo under construction in Las Vegas. The two existing homes alone are worth nearly $9.5 million, the petition says.

Linda also hopes the couple can share custody of 17-year-old son Nick, but custody of Nick may go the State of Florida soon enough. Brooke’s 19, so she’s not an issue here.

The 911 tape from Nick Bollea (Hogan)’s crash in August has been released.

You can listen here.

TampaBay.com is streaming it right now, and I think their server is really overloaded, so if you can’t listen to it now, try back later.

Seriously, I felt something rubbing on my leg at like 3 am last night and woke up screaming, “Stop it, Tony Romo!”

My cat just stared at me.

But seriously this dude is just having sex with everything in the Los Angeles area.

Up now: Jessica Simpson, with whom he spent Thanksgiving in Texas. InTouch is reporting that he’s her boyfriend, but somehow I doubt that. I don’t think he’s anyone’s boyfriend. I think he’s just trying to have sex with more celebrities than Matt Leinart. I think that’s his goal.

I loooooooooove this kind of shit so much.

Someone put pepper spray in Ingrid Marie Rivera, a Miss Puerto Rico contestant’s, dress and make-up, causing her to break out in hives!

Pageant organizers said they hope to catch and expose whoever was responsible for dousing Rivera’s evening gowns with pepper spray and spiking her makeup, causing her to break out in hives.

Police said Monday they have also opened an investigation into the attacks on the beauty queen.

Rivera was composed while appearing before cameras and judges throughout the competition. But once backstage, she had to strip off her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body, which swelled and broke out in hives twice.

“We thought at first it was an allergic reaction, or maybe nerves,” said pageant spokesman Harold Rosario. “But the second time, we knew it couldn’t have been a coincidence.”

Rivera’s clothing and makeup later tested positive for pepper spray.

You know the best part??

SHE WON ANYWAY!!!!

Rock on, Miss Puerto Rico!!!