Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Katie Holmes is in Way Better Shape Than I Am

Katie Holmes to Run New York Marathon

Mrs. Tom Cruise plans to run the New York marathon on Sunday.

In related news, I plan to walk from the living room to the kitchen, where the chocolate bars are. Possibly more than once.

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  • Dearest Joe uptop^^ If you love Katie (and I believe that you do) please rescue her from Tom and The Sciencepeeples Cult. Suri looks just like you. Real talk.

  • OK — is it just me or does Katie look completely different in her pre-Cruise days — not that I’m complaining — she looks great. But don’t you think that new “sophisticated” smile is totally deliberate in a creepy kind of way — is the little man telling her how to hold her face now?