Okay, did the Cirque Lodge drop-outs do Lindsay’s spray tan?
Because I find it hard to believe that anyone did that shit sober.
Or maybe Lindsay did it herself. With some $8 self-tanner she picked up at CVS. I hear she’s been short on money lately. Because, I mean, I’ve seen some fucked up tans on this girl, but this one takes the cake.
Aren’t you glad you’re back home? Didn’t you miss this?
I missed you, baby. I know we fight, honey, but I do it because I love you so much. Shh, baby. Don’t cry. I’m just trying to show you how glad I am you’re home. You don’t trust me? Oh, baby girl, that’s because you’re stupid. Now go clean your fug ass up and cook me dinner.