Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Um, Apparently Britney Spears Doesn’t Even Sell Magazines Anymore

Jennifer Aniston Forbes Top Selling Famous Face

Neither do Lindsay Lohan or Jessica Simpson, according to Forbes magazine, who announced that none other than Jennifer Aniston was the top-selling famous face over a six-month period ending June 30.

Next up? Brad Pitt, followed by Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie, Reese Witherspoon, Katie Holmes, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Valerie Bertinelli and Kelly Ripa.

I think I speak for all of us when I say:

WHO THE HELL IS VALERIE BERTINELLI?

To explain Britney’s absence on the list, In Touch Weekly’s editor says: “Usually there’s a roller coaster of emotions. But unfortunately for Britney, there’s been no roller coaster lately — there’s just been the downhill.”

I’m sorry, but I have a lot of trouble believing that Jennifer Damn Aniston sells more magazines than Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan. If the magazines really felt this was true, why would they keep putting Britney on the covers instead of always running cover stories like “Jennifer Aniston: Still Too Busy Being Single To Save Any Africans or Make Interesting Movies.”

There must be other factors.

6 CommentsLeave a comment

  • isn’t Valerie Bertinelli that lady in the jenny’s weight loss commercials? the lady that took over kirsti alley’s spot!

  • This is such a lie, and such sour grapes about the truth.. it’s hilarious.. Although Britney racks up more.. considerably more gossipy news in a few hours she loose on the streets.. they can’t publish it quickly enough so they give it up to the other reporters with many means of reponding and broadcasting newstories to scoop. If you put all britney did in one month on paper it would make up a book I think.

  • Yeah, Valerie is totally the middle-aged woman’s covergirl…very grocery store cashier-line material.

  • to the person who sniped that jennifer aniston doesn’t make interesting movies, shut up! you obviously haven’t seen any of her films. and just because she’s not put her charity stuff all over the magazines doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. in fact if anything that proves she cares more.