Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Jen Garner is so boring. I wish she drank more. [popbytes]

Kim Stewart’s breasts are unstoppable. [Agent Bedhead]

“I’ve taken shits hotter than Tori Spelling.” [Drunken Stepfather]

Mel B may be more into her super hot DWTS partner than her creepy new husband. [Celebslam]

Shakira does nice stuff for other people. [Cele|bitchy]

Yeeeah! wins the award for best headline re: Rumer Willis’ hair. [Yeeeah!]

The world needed some Kristen Bell bikini pics. [Jordan]

Alicia Keys rocks the cover of Complex. [Bossip]

By now, you’ve all seen the photos of Natalie Portman’s bare ass. But have you seen the video? [Ninja Dude]

A really, really, really cute, tiny kitten, because it’s Monday and you deserve this. [College Humor]

Joel Madden may be getting married, but Hilary Duff’s got some gigantic knockers. [The Blemish]