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I’m Not Entirely Sure How Britney Spears Thinks She’s Going to Shock Us

Britney Spears is Going to Shock Us with Her VMA Performance

So we’ve been hearing forever about Britney’s “surprise” appearance on MTV’s VMAs next week. She’s been working on some sort of act with Criss Angel, who — surprise!!!! — she’s also having sex with.

“She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,” says a source close to Spears. The source also adds that the goal is to make it “shocking.”

Really, Britney?

It’s going to be shocking???

Hmmm …

Let’s think about what Britney could do to shock us. Here are some ideas. She could:

– Shave her head while the whole world watches
– Check into rehab three times in one month
– Have sex with everyone who comes within five feet of her
– Smoke cigarettes and drink margaritas while her toddler son stands next to her
– Show the whole world her vagina
– Show the whole world her vagina three times in two weeks

Yeah. None of that would really work these days.

Oooh, I know!

Maybe she could articulately explain why 1/5 of Americans can’t find the U.S. on a map. That would shock me.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • i was looking at pics from some of her last performances, and the magic is gone — i look at the pics and see the hints of the trashy coming through…she’s so over. can’t look at her the same anymore.

  • I think her victory days are over.. all the things she have done had damage so much in her career and even to herself as a mother.. she was a bad role model to all americans and hollywood stars so just some advise for you britney, better fix your character, be a good mother to your kids, they are young and they do need your love & care, if you dont want k-fed to win in the custody battle, prove to them that you are more worth than ur ex-fucking hubby,if you cant fix yourself now, you will regret when the time comes that sons grow up and do the same to you what you have done to your mom..or they could be a potential drug users or maybe worst.. fix your life before its too late britney..

  • Uuuummmm….don’t you have to actually go away to get to have a comeback? Please go away or if you won’t go away, please stop showing us your ass.

  • wow i think britney spears is a really bad role model. she thinks she’s cool shes not. everyone hates her. she sux and is not coming back ever