Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Slow News Day?

As a man who makes his substantial living at the foot of the Hollywood Gods I am not a biter of the hands that feed me. I don’t rock the boat. I only ask for enough to sustain myself and my many wives, and of course our multiple mansions, all equipped with dowdy Beagles named “Mr. Sparkles.” But sometimes even I come across something that makes me wonder how exactly this whole equation works. Consider this screenshot:

Keanu Reeves is Out at night!

I came across this news item because my RSS reader came through with this headline: Keanu Reeves’ Night out in Hollywood. So I clicked to see more, and this was what I was presented with. I expected hookers, or at the very least horse tranquilizers. What did I get? One Single Photo. This is not clickable by the way, there aren’t more photos to the equation that we’re missing. We also aren’t told where he is, or what he’s doing. In fact this shot could have been taken a year ago.

I guess what I’m saying here is “Hey, ET producers, put the paint thinner down.” If we start running solitary photos of celebs without mentioning the whore house Les Deux or the term “DUI” then I’m not sure what we’re in the business for. Hell, I could come up with a photo every day, no problem. I’ll even make up a story for ya. Who you want? Mel Gibson? Expect a photo of him at Pizza Hut later today (though the photo won’t show that unless I get photoshop).

Best regards,

Spireful Lars