Check out this madness from that bastion of journalism UsaToday. Wait, no don’t. I’ll break it down for you. Here’s the headline:

Suicide, depression are common in Wilson’s films

Ah yes, we’ve found a crack reporter on the case. Should we mention that Matt Damon played a demented killer in Talented Mr. Ripley? Or how about Ed Norton and obscene racism in American History X? Tom Cruise as a hitman in Collateral? No, nothing? Oh, I see… we’ve found a trend.

Here are the films that the article mentions along with my one second comeback:

• Bottle Rocket (his first movie, filmed in college)
• Rushmore (he is UNCREDITED in Rushmore)
• The Royal Tenenbaums (well, at least he’s in this one, though it was Luke who attempted suicide in the movie)
• The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (He’s looking for his dad…. uh, okay.)
• The Darjeeling Limited (this film has not yet been released but I’m sure all the signs of Owen’s suicide attempt were there… if only we’d thought to look!!)

I only wish UsaToday had been on this case sooner. For the record, here are some other tragic films Owen has done.

• Starsky and Hutch
• Zoolander
• Meet the Parents/Fockers (okay, you got me, these are pretty fucking depressing.)
• Wedding Crashers
• You, Me, and Dupree

So, yeah, the writing was definitely on the wall.

Here’s another genius comment from the article:

A look at Wilson’s collaborations with filmmaker Wes Anderson, which he has called his most personal films, are often comedic meditations on depression, alienation and suicide:

So, wait a sec… might it actually be Wes Anderson we should worry for? After all, he wrote and directed all those darned sad flicks. Someone get a team to his house, quick, before it’s too goddamn late!

One Response to “Expect a TON of Owen Wilson Articles that Don’t Make Sense”

1. Clementines says:

   August 29, 2007 at 9:56 am

   I hear he was into hillbilly heroin [Oxycontin] and that made him know this addiction of seeking greater highs and ending up with too many bad trips ain’t gonna stop until he dies..

   http://www.opiates.com/media/heroin-belleville.html

   Reply

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