In another big fuck-you to the justice system and to all the people in the world who make a normal income, X17 reports that Paris Hilton was planning a party for Friday night. She’d invited a group of her friends to a “Welcome Back” party at her Hollywood Hills mansion new jail. Seriously, does she want the whole world to hate her? Jesus Christ, Paris. Even if you don’t have to go back to jail (oh please God make her go back to jail), just sit your ass down, shut the fuck up, stay out of the spotlight for 40 days, and pretend like you could give two shits that you drove drunk and then violated probation TWICE.

Ha, maybe the girls at Lynwood will throw the little hooker a welcome back party instead. That would be sweet.

Yup, that’s right. Mr. Isaiah Washington just took a fabulous Prada loafer squarely in the ass.

Even though he denied that he’d be leaving Grey’s Anatomy, multiple sources have been loudly confirming that he was on his way out, and with T.R. Knight’s recent announcement that he’ll be returning to the show, the writing was on the wall in bright Shiseido red.

ABC studios stated on Thursday that Washington’s contract was not renewed for the upcoming season of Grey’s.

Isaiah, ever the beacon of good judgment in this otherwise distressing world, released the following statement, with no further explanation:

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”

That Isaiah, he’s all class.

So if you’re wondering what all that ruckus is in WeHo tonight, it’s fair to assume that T.R. Knight and Kate Heigl are somewhere at its epicenter, appletinis in hand.

Today has been a strange day. Paris Hilton was dismissed from prison and then got a callback, sending me up and down on an emotional roller coaster I can’t even begin to justify. I vacuumed; I think I’m coming down with a fever for the first time in over a year (right before finals week, at that); and I inexplicably find myself listening to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s BareNaked and liking it. And people say bloggers are losers …

But nothing — nothing – is going to distract me to the point that I would miss out on publicizing the fact that Richie Sambora slipped quietly into rehab on Wednesday. Sambora, who recently split from Denise Richards after acquiring her in the very most slimeball of manners, was fucking wasted at his MTV Unplugged taping on Tuesday, to the point that they actually had to turn off his mic and re-record the songs without him. I guess that was the wake-up call he needed, so he checked into an undisclosed LA treatment facility yesterday. And by now, we all know full well that means he’s at Promises. Who else is rooting for a Lohan-Sambora hook-up??

Also, just to clarify, it turns out I only like the first two songs on BareNaked.

Yes, I think we can.

Because it is bullshit, people.

Listen up, Seventeen, I don’t know who’s heading up your Atoosa-less ship these days, but if you’re gonna get all that publicity off of ANTM, you sure as hell better be ready to step up and give its winner her own cover. Especially when it’s my beloved Jaslene Gonzalez.

Seventeen did two covers for their July issue — a “bonus,” as they claim — but the one they’re promoting is the one with Jessica Alba on it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Jessica Alba just fine, but I think that if Jaslene was promised the cover of Seventeen magazine, she should get that cover, and not one-half of it (and one-tenth the promotion) just because someone at Hearst is taking heat for newsstand numbers.

Anyway, Jessica Alba’s been traipsing around NYC promoting her new Fantastic Four film and her cover, so where are the pics of my Jaslene??? You can check out some of the shots from her Seventeen cover shoot here.

No Doubt is headed into the studio next month to record their first album in six years and to give this planet a much-needed injection of Gwen Stefani’s unique brand of lyrical genius. [Bree]

It turns out celebrities get divorced a lot. [popbytes]

Hugh Hefner totally agrees that Kendra Wilkinson’s an idiot. But, lucky for her, she’s a very, very hot idiot. [Holy Candy]

Cindy Crawford has a daughter? [Daily Stab]

Eva Longoria enjoys making Tony Parker jealous. [Celebslam]

The latest rumor is that Britney Spears is dating her drug counselor. [Cele|bitchy]

Cisco Adler’s balls make their triumphant return to the spotlight. [CityRag]

Jesus over at DrunkenStepfather reminds the paparazzi who creates their market these days. [Drunken Stepfather]

Nicole Richie doesn’t particularly want to go to jail. Also, we’re just going to keep saying she’s pregnant until we see the goddamn abortion footage. [The Bosh]

Aww … Bob Barker says goodbye to The Price is Right. Man, I will never be able to think about Bob Barker without thinking about Adam Sandler screaming that “the price is wrong, bitch!” [POTP]

ABC is advertising Kyle XY via skywriting. I’d say that someone probably out to re-evaluate their marketing goals, but, hey, I’m writing about it, aren’t I? [Defamer]

The LA City Attorney released this statement today:

“Today I was extremely troubled to learn that the Sheriff’s Department has decided to release Ms. Hilton from custody just three days after she was admitted to county jail.

My office was not advised of this action. We learned of it this morning through news reports, just like everyone else. Had we been provided with the proper notification, we would have opposed the decision on legal grounds.

News reports indicate that the Sheriff’s Department released Ms. Hilton to house arrest due to a medical condition. This explanation is puzzling. Los Angeles county jail medical facilities are well-equipped to deal with medical situations involving inmates.

I am also concerned that the judicial process may have been improperly circumvented in this case. Ms. Hilton was incarcerated as a condition of her probation. As a result, the judge retained jurisdiction over her case and only the judge has the power to modify these conditions of probation. If Ms. Hilton’s medical condition truly warranted a change in her circumstances, what should have happened is the following: Ms. Hilton’s legal counsel should have filed an emergency application with the court and provided my office with the opportunity to respond, and then the court could have held a hearing on the matter to consider whether there was sufficient justification to change the terms of his original order. I have directed my criminal branch to immediately explore all possible legal options to ensure that the law is being applied equally and justly in this case.

If law enforcement officials are to enjoy the respect of those we are charged with protecting, we cannot tolerate a two-tiered jail system where the rich and powerful receive special treatment. We must ensure that in our city, in our nation, and under our Constitution, justice remains blind.

Delgadillo, the highest-ranking Latino to hold a city-wide office in 100 years, grew up on LA’s east side (which is basically what you get if you take everything about Beverly Hills and invert it), and attending public schools in LA before earning a full scholarship to Harvard University. I’m sure he’s had plenty of time to think about why the Paris Hiltons of the world ought to serve out their full jail sentences. I’m also sure he has his eye set on a bigger prize than the LA City Attorney’s office, and he sees this as a good way to raise his profile and garner support — I’m totally okay with that — and I truly can’t think of a more glorious pawn in this scheme than one Paris Whitney Hilton.