Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Pope Knows Driving

pope.jpg

The Vatican has come up with the “Drivers 10 Commandments.” Got road rage? The Catholic church wants to help you through it. I have to say that after visiting the Beet in California I would need these to deal with SoCal highway traffic. Thankfully I live in New York so I just yell at people on the subway. But here are the commandments if you need a little bit more Jesus in your daily commute.

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

I bet the Pope also wouldn’t be down with teenagers losing their virginity in motor vehicles…but “don’t do it in the back of your dad’s Taurus” just doesn’t sound elegant does it?

5 CommentsLeave a comment

  • fter getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into
    > the limo, and He doesn’t travel light, the driver notices
    > that the Pope is still standing on the curb
    >
    > ‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver,
    >
    > ‘Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’
    >
    > ‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive
    > at the Vatican, and I’d really like to drive today.’
    >
    > ‘I’m sorry but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job!
    > And what if something should happen?’ protests the driver, wishing he’d
    > never gone to work that morning.
    >
    > ‘There might be something extra in it for you,’ says
    > the Pope.
    >
    > Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind
    > the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting
    > the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
    >
    > ‘Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!’ pleads the worried driver, but the
    > Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. ‘Oh, dear God,
    > I’m gonna lose my license,’ moans the driver.
    >
    > The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but
    > the cop takes one look at him, goes Back to his motorcycle, and gets on
    > the radio.
    >
    > ‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.
    >
    > The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a
    > limo going a hundred and five.
    >
    > ‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.
    >
    > ‘I don’t think we want to do that – he’s really important,’ said the
    > cop.
    >
    > The Chief exclaimed, ‘All the more reason!’
    >
    > ‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop.
    >
    > The Chief then asked, ‘Who have you got there, the Mayor?’
    >
    > Cop: ‘Bigger.’
    >
    > Chief: ‘Governor?’
    >
    > Cop: ‘Bigger.’
    >
    > ‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘Who is it?’
    >
    > Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’
    >
    > Chief: ‘What makes you think it’s God?’
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > ……………….keep going……………………..
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Cop: ‘He’s got the f**ing Pope as a chauffeur!’

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