Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Turns Out Jail Kinda Sucks

Paris Hilton Says Jail is Cold

Our pals over at TMZ have taken it upon themselves to acquire a variety of “sources” over at Lynwood, and mostly I just wish I’d been in the room for the brainstorming session that resulted in the acquisition of those sources. How exactly does one go about collecting sources in a prison? Are they just talking to guards/wardens, or do they have actual prisoners on their payroll these days? If so, how did they get in touch with them? I mean, were they just swinging by during visiting hours to see who wanted to negotiate? Or were they looking through public records a month ago to find people who were going to be in jail around the same time as Paris? What if her location had changed at the last minute? Did they have back-up sources at nearby jails? This whole process fascinates me.

Regardless, all of TMZ’s sources agree that jail fucking sucks for Paris right now.

Paris has been crying on the phone, saying she’s not sleeping or eating. Paris says her cell is “freezing cold.” She has three little blankets and no pillow. She’s using one of the blankets as a pillow. The room is bright and jail noise echoes through her space.

Sleep isn’t the only problem. Paris says she has no appetite and has eaten almost nothing.

Inmates actually struck up a chant when Paris went back to her cell earlier today. As she walked by they struck up a chorus, “Paris! Paris! Paris!” We’re told she smiled and waved. Some inmates have been coming up to her cell door, mostly to say hi. One inmate said, “You don’t deserve to be here.” Another made an origami butterfly from a magazine page and slipped it under her door. Another slipped a drawing book under her door. The guards, Paris says, have all been nice.

It’s freezing cold in her tiny cell and she has to use a blanket as a pillow because there are no fucking pillows anywhere? Dude, I lived in Tokyo for a brief period of time, and that pretty much describes it. Anyway, welcome to the huddled masses, Paris.

4 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Boo Hoo?

    Ahhh how the tables have turned… It is I who will bed down tonight on 1000 thread count egyptian cotton sheets (which I’m sure she would normally scoff at) while Paris huddles on her cot and makeshift pillow.

    Too bad in 20 or so days she goes back to living in decadance I can only dream about. But for now and the next few weeks I will go to bed with a smile knowing that I can control my thermostat.


  • 2 thoughts:

    Oh whaaaa, prison’s not a party?

    I had no idea Christian Louboutin shoes came in that size. This chick has large feet.

  • Also on more. :)

    Her shoes look like they’re on the wrong feet, or her feet are on the wrong legs. I guess the massive size is the least of her foot worries.

    Funny, I didn’t think I had a foot fetish…

  • she is a dumb fucking bitch and needs shooting before we all forget the progress women have made in society over the last 150 years, id fuck her first though or it would be a waste