Gary Marshall is a hack director. He’s cashed in on directing Pretty Woman for the last 17 years. Or maybe those fresh episodes of Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley he wrote back in the 70′s somehow guaranteed him a full career. And his new movie, Georgia Rule, is seriously screwed up – and it’s most likely due to the tone he took. They should have called it “Molestation Hilarity” because that’s the vibe he clearly was shooting for.

Anyway, more of his genius came to light when it was revealed that he was the one who had the infamous letter sent to Lindsay Lohan during the filming of Georgia Rule.

Here’s how Marshall framed the incident:

“Once somebody walks on my set, it’s my problem, but we can’t go chasing them, this film is low-budget. We can’t lose days. … Tough love is a part of this business – she missed a day on the second week of shooting.”

On the surface this seems to be a fairly professional business interaction. Except for one tiny detail. It was only the second week of shooting. She couldn’t have missed multiple days or that would have been mentioned. And was she not available via cell phone to be scolded? Could he not have gone to her trailer the next day for clarification on what was up? The letter mentions she was “late” a few times too. How late? My guess is a few minutes or I’m sure they would have mentioned “hours.”

“Jim wrote the memo, and she came the next day and we were fine,” Marshall said.

What a jerk-off. I’m the last one to defend Lohan, and she legitimately missed a day of work, but the furor this caused was nothing more than a publicity stunt for a movie without an audience. Lindsay got sacrificed on the altar of some old fogey needing a hit movie. And now, by bringing this up again, you are trying another PR stunt. You leaked the letter and you’ve kept the hype going. You’ve made a mockery of your “art.” Most directors would say something to the effect of “Hey, the movie is great and I’m very protective of my actors so I don’t want to talk about it further. What happened is a private manner between colleagues.” But Gary couldn’t do that, could he?

Yes, Lindsay should tone down the partying and be at work on time, every time. But the true way to handle this was in person. And if it happened again, then you start with the escalation. The film was financed by goddamn Universal Pictures, I’m sure they were able to cover a day of extra shooting for Gary.

Egh. I hate you Marshall, and when your film makes $32 dollars at the box office I will laugh at you. I may even point my finger in a derisive manner.

I’ve often said to myself, how can I smell more like a reclusive bible wielding musical genius?

Finally my prayers have been answered. It’s the Prince perfume y’all!

The fragrance will be named 3121, after an album he put out last year (which is so 2006).

The official website is here, but I wouldn’t go to it if you’re high or there goes your day.

The perfume goes on sale 7-7-07 and the line starts here.

At this point I would like to link to a Prince skit that SNL runs quite often called “The Prince Show” but NBC hates free publicity and they sure as hell don’t want you knowing anything about one of their shows so they’ve yanked all video from free sites. Thanks guys!

Cameron Diaz: “We all suffer when Paris suffers.” Heh. [Cele|bitchy]

The celebrities you’d most like to bang. And not with a hammer. [Pajiba]

Brooke Burke is still hot. [Derek Hail]

Carmen Electra wrote a book called How to Be Sexy. Now if only someone could lend her a copy of How to Stay Married she’d be all set. [Jordan]

Um, Victoria, why were you shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch anyway? [Celebrity Smack]

It’s not enough for Dina Lohan to live vicariously through her daughter’s fame; now she’s using it to land herself on TV. [The Blemish]

K-Fed calls Britney‘s new man “trash.” [Celebslam]

Jodi Sweetin is back on the smack. Time for a serious father-daughter talk. [popbytes]

Akon is sorry for that whole “simulated rape” thing. [DListed]

Kate Moss in a see-through dress. [Drunken Stepfather]

Nick Lachey throws down. [POTP]

Jessica Simpson should not be darker than Eva Longoria. Eva naturally has a hot Latina thing going on but Jess is starting to look like George Hamilton. How much fake tan do you have to put on to look this orange? Somebody should tell Jess that you can either darken your hair or your skin…not both.

Jessica Simpson is really looking fugly these days. It keeps getting worse. The whole dark hair, boobs falling out of her shirt, sexy face thing is just not working. There is something to be said about natural beauty.

Can we stop paying attention to the Simpsons? Doesn’t somebody else want to be famous?

Ricki Lake, who initially became famous due to the fact that she was a big girl, is now about half her former size. She says that she lost her weight in a healthy way and went from 250 to 123. She looks adorable and I’m interested to see what her next project is.

Nobody goes on the cover of US showing off their bod unless they are trying to sell something. Wonder what it is?

[source]

Cameron Diaz loves to be the cute fun-loving tomboy. She showed up to promote her new movie, “Shrek the Third” in this fun little denim number. I actually think this little outfit is cute but she is 34. At one point don’t you start rocking something a little more age appropriate?

Perhaps she is worried to let go of her 20s but I think she seems to be trying a bit hard these days to be cool and young. You can’t dance around in your underwear forever Cameron.

What do you think of Cameron’s little ensemble?