It’s not that I’ve been ignoring this story, per se, it’s just that, like, what do you really say? She broke her nose when she tripped over her chihuahua.
This is not the sort of thing one does sober.
I mean, far be it from me to point fingers or accuse someone of being an addict. All I’m saying is this: sober people do not trip over chihuahuas.
I have three cats in my apartment. It’s a small apartment. It’s a one-bedroom. There are three cats. They are all approximately chihuahua-sized. I have had three cats for two years now. I have never — never — tripped over any one of them, let alone broken my nose in the process. I’m just saying.
Sober people don’t trip over chihuahuas.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Fox News brings us this interview with Paula after the fact, wherein she looks pretty damn wasted and generally displeased to be forced to recount her chihuahua-tripping incident. TMZ has video (here) of Paula on the way to the interview, crying her eyes out. I’m sure this has not been a fun process for her.
Paula will appear on the American Idol finale tonight — in fact, they probably start taping in LA here in just a few hours — and I look forward to watching her defend this look to Simon.