Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Now that she won’t be Queen of England, we can bring on the Kate Middleton up-skirt photos with impunity. [Jordan Is Your Homeboy]

Hilary Duff’s new track, “Stranger.” [popbytes]

Is Cameron Diaz dating Criss Angel? Ooh, maybe he’ll make Justin Timberlake disappear. I’d be okay with that. [Cele|bitchy]

Um, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are totally having sex in the pool at Atlantis. [Celebslam]

There’s pretty much going to be a new Jessica-Alba-in-a-bikini link every day until summer’s over. [The Blemish]

Lily Allen is feeling much better about her weight now, thank you very much. [Buzznet]

Paris Hilton’s dad is in the hospital, so she hired a bunch of second-graders to glue sequins and pictures of her to a posterboard to cheer him up. Wait, what’s that? She made that herself? Wow. Someone should definitely sign her up for some of those prison art classes. [IBBB]

Just when you thought the pics of Brad and his kids couldn’t get any cuter … [Daily Stab]

Sly Stallone pleads guilty to bringing illegal steroids into Australia. [Holy Candy]

Kim Kardashian is totally letting Reggie Bush pee on her. [Derek Hail]

Petra Nemcova is humping Hilton ex Stavros Niarchos. And I’d be all like “Ew,” but, honestly, people, that’s still way better than James Blunt. [MollyGood]

The whole cast of Saturday Night Live showed up at the Shrek 3 NYC premiere. So, really, who needs Cameron Diaz? [Pop Sugar]