Today's Evil Beet Gossip

David Hasselhoff’s Ex-Wife Takes a Page from the Kim Basinger Playbook

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In response to this video of him drunkenly eating a cheeseburger, David Hasselhoff has issued the following statement, essentially accusing his ex-wife of leaking the video and hoping that six paragraphs of calling her an alcoholic while claiming to take the high road will help us all forget about how he was basically too drunk to eat a cheeseburger on the floor of his hotel room while his daughter filmed him and begged him to stop drinking.

An excerpt:

“While I acknowledge that I am a recovering alcoholic who must deal with my own issue on a daily basis, my ex-wife has refused to deal with her own issues, which include having tested positive for alcohol and illegal substances in response to court ordered testing. Although she has publicly denied having tested positive, proof of her drug use is part of the Court record.

I truly hope that my ex-wife will get the help that she so desperately needs for her own sake and for the sake of our children, and that in the future she will refrain from perpetuating falsehoods and selfishly compromising the well-being of our children so that they can move forward with their lives, with their privacy respected. I look forward to the day that our marital litigation is behind me, so that our children and I can move forward with our lives in peace.”

Yeah. What part of “recovering alcoholic” involves getting wasted in front of your daughter and then blaming your wife? Which step is that, Hoff? Just curious.

Full statement reprinted after the jump.

“More than a year ago, I made a difficult decision, for the sake of our children and myself, to file for divorce. To this day, my ex-wife has engaged in conduct designed to punish me by repeatedly publishing false statements to the press. Despite her fabricated claims, I have, from the outset of this painful divorce, consistently taken the high road by not responding to the myriad of false allegations made against me by her out of consideration for our children. I recognize that public discussion of the issues which exist between us is not something which is in the best interests of our daughters.

But recent events have made it impossible for me to continue to remain silent. My ex-wife, and her latest attorney (who seems to share a thirst for publicity) recently suggested that I had not only been physically abusive to her, but that I was also physically abusive towards our two daughters, as well. This latest claim is not only utterly false, but it is also obscene. Our daughters are outraged by the falsity of their mother’s claims and urged me to allow them to go to the press to challenge these claims. I discouraged our daughters from doing so, but I agreed that I would finally come forward and challenge these absurd claims made by their mother.

My ex-wife’s actions are nothing more than a transparent attempt to garner attention from the media and to hurt me. Her claims that I ever physically abused her or our children are ludicrous. It is inexcusable that my ex-wife has perpetuated these false claims against me, without consideration for the toll her actions have taken on the girls. However, it is clear that she will resort to any means to obtain the attention of the media in order to satisfy her own perverse need for publicity, regardless of its impact on our daughters or me.

The lack of veracity of her claims have, and will continue to be borne out in the marital litigation. Unfortunately, our children have been subjected to physical and emotional abuse on numerous occasions, but it has been at the hands of their own mother, which abuse has been documented by the Court appointed experts in our marital proceedings.

While I acknowledge that I am a recovering alcoholic who must deal with my own issue on a daily basis, my ex-wife has refused to deal with her own issues, which include having tested positive for alcohol and illegal substances in response to court ordered testing. Although she has publicly denied having tested positive, proof of her drug use is part of the Court record.

I truly hope that my ex-wife will get the help that she so desperately needs for her own sake and for the sake of our children, and that in the future she will refrain from perpetuating falsehoods and selfishly compromising the well-being of our children so that they can move forward with their lives, with their privacy respected. I look forward to the day that our marital litigation is behind me, so that our children and I can move forward with our lives in peace.”

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  • hi darling lisa jane i just 5 more letters to my man david hasselhoff what are going to do about it

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  • LEAVE HIM ALONE IM HIS GIRL IM THE HOFF GIRL THE ONLY ONE NOT YOU NO ONE ELSE ME ME ME ME DROP DEAD LISA JANE

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  • DEAR MR
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  • THE HOFF PLEASE THE HOFF GET A FLIGHT OUT OF USA RIGHT NOW YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU THU MORLING AT OUR PLACE FOR OUR OUTTING TO CAREALY FOR THE DAY I WILL SEEYOU THU MORLING

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  • DEAR MR
    DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE CAN INVITE YOU TO OUR PLACE RIGHT NOW DAVID HASSELHOFF AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR SELF A NICE NEW GIRLFRIEND AT NUMBER 8 FREASHFIELDS CLOSE AND DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE COME IN TO MY ART AND CRAFT ROOM AND COME AND HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS DAVID HASSELHOFF AND DO NOT LET ME GO AT ALL TO NIGHT HOW DO YOU FANCY WATCHING MIDSOMER MUDERS IN BED WITH THE DOVAOVER US TWO AND WE CAN STAY IN BED TIL THE MORLING PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF STAY THE NIGHT IN MY ROOM IHAVE GOT A DOUBLE BED IN MY ART ROOM PLEASE SEND THIS TO THE HOFF LAPTOP IN HIS HOTEL ROOM AND DAVID HASSELHOFF WHEN YOU GOT IT COME TO OUR PLACE AND COME KISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND

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  • DEAR MR DAVID HASSELHOFF IHAVE WRITE TO YOUR FRIEND SIMON COWELL ASK HIM TO BOOK A HOTEL IN LOSVEGAS FOR THREE WEEKS AND IWOULD LIKE TO BE LOOKED IN
    IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH YOU DAVID HASSELHOFF
    AND GOING KISS YOU DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE COME AND KISS YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND RIGHT NOW IWILL
    MAKE US BOUTH A HOT CUP OF COFFEE AND DAVID HASSELHOFF YOU LIKE BLACK COFFEE WITH TWO SWEET IN YOUR BLACK COFFEE AND DAVID HASSELHOFF WILL YOU MARRY ME DAVID HASSELHOFF ON FEB 14 IM NOT WAITIING FOR TEN YEARS DAVID HASSELHOFF IWOULD LIKE TO BE YOUR NEW WIFE MISS LISAJANE HASSELHOFF ICANT WAIT HOW DO YOU FANCY BOOK A HOTEL IN WORTHING FROM MONDAY 3 JAN
    IS A BANK HOLIDAY AND DAVID HASSELHOFF YOU ARE NOT GOING BACK TO USA BE COUSE THE USA HAS GOT LOTS OF SNOW PLEASE SEND THIS TO DAVID HASSELHOFF LAPTOP RIGHT NOW WHEN YOU GET THIS MR DAVID HASSELHOFF GET IN TO THE KNIGHT RIDER CAR AND COME SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND

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  • DAVID HASSELHOFF IHAVE NOT BEEN COUSING YOU TRUBLE IT IS JORDEN AT IT AGAIN DAVID HASSELHOFF SHE IS CALLING ME A WACKO IM NOT A WACKO JODEN THE WACKO SHE IS TELL GO AWAYTO ANOTHERPLENT AND SHE TELL ME TO WASH MOUTH WITH POISON AND DIE THIS IS POLICE LEAVE MR DAVID HASSELHOFF WE PUT YOU IN JAIL AND YOUR MUM ME AND KIM COME BEAT YOU OH MY GOOD GET
    THE FUCK LOST ASSHOLE DROP DEAD DAVID HASSELHOFF TELL PHONE THE POLICE AND TELL THEM IT IS JORDEN COUSING BIG TRUBLE DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE COME TO OUR PLACE TELL JOE YOU CANT GO TO NEW ZEALEND
    DAVID HASSELHOFF ASK JOE TO TELL PHONE THE POLICE

  • DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE CAN YOU GET A FLIGHT OUT OF NEW ZEALAND RIGHT NOW AND COME TO OUR PLACE TO COME SEE YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND AND COME KISS YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND ON THE LIPS AND ON THU DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE CAN WE GO TO POOLE ON OUR FIRST DEATE
    PLEASE COME AND HAVE A FUN TIME IN MY ART AND CRAFT ROOM WITH YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND AND DAVID HASSELHOFF YOU ARE WELCOME TO MAKE JOE A ART CARD AND SEND IT IN THE POST DAVID HASSELHOFF ARE YOU IN YOUR NEW ZEALAND HOTEL AND YOU ARE ON YOUR LAP TOP COMPTUE AND YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND IN THE UK IS WRITING TO YOU ON OUR DELL COMPTUR AND DAVID HASSELHOFF GET THIS LATTER FROM YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND PLEASE GET IN TO THE KNIGHT RIDER CAR AND ON SAT IWILL ASK MY FRIEND TO BRIG ME TO THE NEW WIMBDOWN TO SEE YOU AND IWLL BE BRING LOTS OF FOOD FOR US TO HAVE IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM

  • DEAR MR DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE COME SEE YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND AND DAVID HASSELHOFF DO YOU LIKE WATCHING MIDSOMER MUDERS ON DVDS IHAVE GOT LOTS OF MIDSOMER MURDERS ON DAVID OR DO YOU WANT TO WATCH TOUCH OF FROST ON ITV3 IT IS A THREE HOUR FILM IT START AT 9PM IT ENDS AT 11.20PM WHY NOT NEED WE WATCH DAVID JASON IT IS HIS LAST EVER TV SHOW AND THER WILL BE NO MORE TOUCH OF FROST AFTER THE LAST ONE DAVID HASSELHOFF IDO NOT LIKE WATCH ING MUDERS TV SHOW ON MY OWN PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF COME RIGHT NOW AND IWILL BE GETTING THE DOUBLE BED RADEY FOR US TO SEAT UP IN BED AND WATCH TOUCH OF FROST WE DO NOT WANT LET DAVID JASON DOWN HE WILL BE VERY HURT

  • DAVID HASSELHOFF JORDEN IS AT IT AGAIN SHE IS NOT SAYING NICE THINGS OH MY GOD GET THE FUICK LOLST
    ASSHOLE SHUT UP GO TO JAIL AND SHE SAY YOU
    DAVID HASSELHOFF YOULOVE ME DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE TEL PHONE THE POLICE AND TELL THEM JODEN IS COUSING TRUBLE A GAIN PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF CAN WE HAVE OUR HONEY MOON IN BLACK POOL PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF COME RIGHT NOW

  • DEAR MR DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE CAN INVITE YOU FOR A HOT CUP OF COFFEE AND DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE CAN INVITE YOU IN TO MY ARTROOM AND WE CAN DO LOTS OF MAKING ART CARDS AND DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE WILL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME DAVID HASSELHOFF TO DAY IHAVE GOT MY HAR UP TO DAY WITH A NEW CLP IN MY HAR AND IT LOOKS NICE UP AND IWILL TAKE IT DOWN WHEN IT IS BED TIME AND DAVID HASSELHOFF YOU ARE WELCOME TO SLEEP IN MY ROOM TO NIGHT DAVID HASSELHOFF YOU CANT GO ON TOUR BE COUSE IWOULD LIKE YOU TO STAY IN THE UK THER IS A GUY GOING ROUND AND TAKING HIS EX GIRLFRIEND S AND PLEASE DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE COME HELP ME WITH MY ART WORK DAVID HASSELHOFF HOW DO YOU FANCY HAVING LUNCH IN PIZZA HUT WITH ME AND YOU CAN HAVE TWO PIZZA FOR 5

  • DEAR MR DAVID HASSELHOFF I HAVE BEEN WRITING TO YOUR FRIEND SIMON COWELL ASK CAN DAVID HASSELHOFF NEW GIRLFRIEND BE LOOCKED IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH THE HOFF THIS WEEKEND COMMING UP IN BRIGHTION THE QUEEN SPAR HOTEL AND DAVID HASSELHOFF IS NOT IN LOVE WITH HEALEY ROBITS THE HOFF IS IN LOVE WITH THE HOFF NEW GIRLFRIEND AND PLEASE CAN THE HOFF COME HELP HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND THE HOFF GIRLFRIEND WITH ART WORK TO DAY IM GOING BE WARING MY BLUE SKRIT AND NEW TOP TO DAY IM GOING BE IN MY ART ROOM ALL DAY TO DAY DOING LOTS OF ART WORK THE HOFF YOU CAN MAKE JOE ART CARD AND PUT IN THE POST ON TUE THER IS NO PODT MAN TO DAY IT IS BANK HOLIDAY MON 2 MAY AND THE HOFF PLEASE CANWE GO TO THE RANGE TO DAY YOU HAVE FOR GOT MY BIRTHDAY WAS LAST SUN IT IS TWO SUN AND IM 40 YEARS OLD
    DAVID HASSELHOFF IM NOT A BEEACH POSON I DO NOT GO DOWN TO THE BEEACH WE WE LIVE IS A LONG WAY TO THE BEEACH AND YOU NEVER GET ME TO GO IN THE SEA AND IM IN DOOR POSON ILIKE DOING ART WORK MAKING ART CARDS FOR YOU THE HOFF

  • GOOD MORLING TO MR DAVID HASSELHOFF ARE YOU FREE ALL DAY TO DAY HELP LISAJANEYOUR NEWGIRLFRIEND LISAJANEWITH HER ARTWORK TO DAY AND DAVID HASSELHOFF PLEASE WILL YOU COME RIGHTNOW AND DO ARTWORK WITH LISAJANE AND MARRY LISAJANE TO NIGHT IN MY ART ROOM AND WE CAN GO OF TO BRIGHTON FOR OUR TWO WEEKS HONEYMOON IN THE QUEEN SPAR HOTEL TO NIGHT