As if being the arguable secondary cause of Lindsay Lohan’s DUI (LL’s alcoholism being, of course, the primary cause) weren’t enough, DJ Samantha Ronson is apparently friends with Nicole Richie, too.

Folks, I think this girl’s probably a drug dealer.

Also, what’s with the peace signs in this picture? Are they making fun of Lindsay’s signature pose?

With friends like these, man …

Denise Richards puts on a brave face with her grumpy Sheen-spawn, Sam and Lola, at a Disney-sponsored party in Bel Air on Thursday.

There are seriously nearly 40 pictures of Denise and these children on WireImage right now. There is not a single picture in which these kids look anything short of miserable. I checked them all. Look at their eyes! They’re like, “Save me from this childhood!” I just find this incredibly funny and I needed to share it with you all.

Check out these videos of famewhore Danny Bonaduce getting lap dances at his divorce party in Hollywood on Thursday night. The goings-on were thoughtfully narrated by Adam Carolla during a live radio broadcast. This is Bonaduce’s second divorce (although, to my knowledge, it’s his first on-air divorce party).

Thanks to LARagMag for the videos.

Here is Justin Guarini getting free stuff and acting like he still is famous at Melanie Segal’s MTV Movie Awards Platinum Luxury Lounge in LA. I don’t know who let him in. I know “From Justin to Kelly” was actually a movie but seriously, Justin Guarini…what was Sanjaya busy?

Good call Calum.

“I’m a bad boy. I go out and get drunk, I get high on cocaine and I do stupid debauched things with the wrong women. When I’m high I do wild stupid shit. I’m a red-blooded male and I’m addicted to sex. I don’t have to be like my dad, but I feel his blood running through my veins. I need to sort out my problems before it’s too late.”

So you have figured out the problem. The next step I think is to get some help. Maybe check into the same rehab as your girlfriend so that you can get some lovin while you know, trying not to kill yourself with booze like your dad.

EvilT is our resident fashionista (distant relative of the sandinistas) but Mr. T deserves some credit on that front too. Don’t believe me? Want to be utterly confused? How about a wonderful look back at the beloved 80s?

Don’t say I never gave you anything. And feel free to use the comments section to explain exactly what the hell this is. They don’t seem to be selling anything, and it’s a rant with no context.

But I’ve said enough. Enjoy it.