Sometimes I feel woe for celebrities. This is one of those times. Fresh off of Kirsten saying this to Jane Magazine (May issue):
“I don’t ever want to date another actor again. This quote is probably going to come back in my face, but I know someone who has a great saying: ‘There are no actors, there are only actresses,’ ” she continues. “Sometimes creative people can be very dark and destructive.”
So who does she date instead? Razorlight lead singer Johnny Borrell. Because musicians are NEVER screwed up. And they never have access to ladies after every show. Nope, compared to actors dating a musician is like heading to the monastery, it’s all celibacy and meditation.
Invariably, less than a week later, this happens: Hollywood.com has (the ex-girlfriend of Johnny Borell) Fabiola Gatti saying:
“I was recording some solo stuff so I was on my own in the studio when he popped in. When the air was cleared between us and I knew what the situation was, he just leaned in and kissed me. He told me he would break up with her (Dunst) to go back out with me. We’ve been on and off for years. We will always be soul mates. At the moment we know it won’t work but one day we will get back together.
What a catastrophe. If this is true, and generally Hollywood.com is on the money, I feel really bad for her. What a horrible way to find out. And you, John whoever, are an idiot. Anyone named Fabiola is destined to become a crazy person. This will end with her throwing a lamp or knife at your head while you’re sleeping because you didn’t get the nail polish color she specifically asked for.
But back to Kirsten, here’s my offer: Kirsten, if you’re into overweight and slightly dark and destructive writer types you should call me. We will spend your Spidey money and walk this world together. I’m loyal (like a puppy) and will make you breakfast everyday. I’m only an email away my dear.